04/06/2026
⚠️ Disclaimer… I don’t have a medical degree, but I do have a PhD in Survival. This is lived experience, not a doctor’s orders—take the tools, but keep your therapist on speed dial and use prayer as your anchor.
Throughout my life, I’ve navigated different layers of abuse—often, and most painfully, from the very people who were supposed to be my protectors.
When we face these experiences, our nervous systems often default to one of four survival patterns: Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn.
Fight: Irritability or control.
Flight: Avoiding or staying busy.
Freeze: Feeling stuck or numb.
Fawn: People-pleasing to stay safe.
These are trauma responses, not character flaws. They are your brain’s way of keeping you alive in a world that felt unsafe. While they are natural, they are often reactive rather than proactive.
For example, I might be at the grocery store when a stranger walks by wearing the same cologne as my perpetrator. Suddenly, I’m not just shopping; I’m transported back.
Or, a friend might raise their voice in a simple disagreement, and instead of standing my ground, I immediately start over-apologizing just to keep the peace.
In those split seconds, my body defaults to one of the four common trauma responses.
Not addressing the underlying issues can lead to symptoms like Anxiety and/or Panic attacks and worsen PTSD symptoms just to name a few.
Healing is the journey from blind reactions to calculated responses.
Now, you can trade survival mode for a "tool belt" of healthy boundaries, breath work, and grounding techniques.
Techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 method or box breathing aren't just "fluff"—they send physical signals to your nervous system to "switch off" the alarm and reconnect you to the present moment.
This helps us to better show up for ourselves and protect our relationships.
When you feel triggered, take a breath and remind yourself:
"I am not in that danger anymore.”
“That past is not my current reality.” “I am safe now."
Lastly, but most importantly I have to remind you that the true healing happens at the spiritual level!
We often try to "fix" these responses with human effort alone, but true, deep-rooted healing doesn't happen by just trying harder to be calm. It happens when we shift from surviving to abiding.
In John 15:4-5a, Jesus says:
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.
I am the vine, ye are the branches:”
Stay connected to the Source of your strength and He alone will help you find the purpose in your pain.
