09/03/2026
My mother was 14 when she gave birth to me. We were raised in a very religious home and lived a life of bo***ge. Throughout my life, I endured hidden family in**st and mental, emotional, physical & sexual abuse.
There were also a lot of traumatic events and a lot of chaos and instability. I was under psychiatric care and chemically dependent at a very young age. I became rebellious and self-sufficient.
Due to many factors I was placed outside of my home into state’s custody. Even that was only stable for a short time. I married at 19, and had 3 children but our marriage was toxic and involved witchcraft and adultery. I continued throughout all this seeking psychiatric care.
I had so many diagnoses. Had been on every medication you could think of, but everything kept getting worse. Electric shock therapy was even tried. I was suicidal. However the Lord never left my side. He continued to send light (people) into my dark life to show me the way out. A dear friend to show me the word of God. A doctor who challenged me to stop meds and receive healing (deep healing). A friend who pushed me out of my comfort zone. People to encourage me. My children to keep me going. The Lord gave me a serving and caretaker heart.
As I began my healing journey, I kept looking in the wrong places for love and acceptance. I was desperate for the love I gave or felt for others. I didn’t realize the co-dependancy I had.
I began working in healthcare and the Lord opened the door to become a CNA - I even worked at the psychiatric hospital I had been a patient at!
After becoming a CNA, the Lord opened a door into hospice. I began working for an amazing company that taught me so much. I was able to witness to my patients, pray with them and sing to them. But I was still struggling with my emotional regulation, co-dependancy, desperate for a relationship and I had also endured three significant losses of 3 people I loved dearly. I turned to w**d and drinking.
The Lord opened a door to Celebrate Recovery and during this time, and one of my patients gave me a word from the Lord: “Whoever told you that you had a disability? You have a true gift from God. Seek Him.” I had never known about having an intimate relationship with the Lord. So I stepped out in faith, went to a revival and got baptized. I began to have many spiritual attacks, but the Lord opened door after door quickly.
He put the Miriam House directly in my path by speaking through people I didn’t even know at a worship service. I chose to leave my family and come here to have true healing, find my identity in the Lord and have an intimate relationship with him. I have received deliverance from su***de, witchcraft, religion and many other things. I am becoming more and more emotionally stable and mature without medication. I am letting the Lord have control of my life and He is healing my relationships with my children.
When I first came to Miriam House, I had a very hard time regulating my emotions and not being over stimulated. I was very easily startled and offended. Also, suicidal and everything overwhelmed me and made me cry. I could not even receive constructive correction without shutting down and getting defensive. I would be quick to be harsh and irritated when I was overwhelmed and things didn’t go my way (or how I felt they should). I was very co-dependant for my emotional regulation. However, with the help of daily routine, chores, the work therapy program, classes, spiritual leaders and other women in the program, I am learning how to work through emotional self regulation. I am learning to become flexible, dependant on God, work through the root causes of my anxiety, fear of rejection, offenses, control issues, distrust of others, and my struggles with change. I am learning my identity in Christ and that God has my future under control. God has a purpose and plan for my life, I just need to let him lead and guide me.
~Bethany
