10/01/2026
Healing from trauma can be profoundly liberating. This client engaged in the Empty Chair Technique, a powerful therapeutic intervention that allowed her to connect with and speak to her younger self. Through this process, she was able to offer the love, acceptance, compassion, and reassurance that she had long needed but may not have received during her younger years. This experiential exercise created space for emotional healing, self-compassion, and the integration of painful experiences. Her letter to her younger self reflected themes of nurturing, validation, and unconditional acceptance, and went something like this:
"If I could turn back time and sit beside the younger version of me, I wouldn’t yell at her. I wouldn’t judge her. I would just hold her and tell her, “Baby, I know you’re hurting. I know you’re trying to find a way to feel loved, wanted, and enough. But please listen to me—you are worth so much more than the things you are settling for.”
I would tell her that the crack addiction would not define her forever. There would be days when she felt like she had lost herself completely, days when she wondered if she would ever become the woman she was supposed to be. But she would make it through. She would overcome it. And one day, she would look back and realize that surviving that chapter took a strength she didn't even know she possessed.
I would tell her to stop confusing attention with love.
I would tell her that using her body and s*x to get what she needed didn't make her a bad woman. It meant she was searching for validation in places that could never truly heal what was hurting inside of her. Every time she gave pieces of herself away hoping someone would finally make her feel valuable, I wish she could have understood that her value was never something another person had the power to give or take away.
I would tell her, “You don't have to sleep with someone to be wanted. You don't have to give your body to be loved. You don't have to manipulate a situation with s*x to get what you need. And you certainly don't have to earn someone's affection by giving them access to you.”
I would tell her that her body was never currency.
Her beauty was never currency.
Her s*xuality was never currency.
And her love was never something she had to sell.
I would tell her to love herself sooner. To look in the mirror and stop seeing everything that was wrong with her. To stop believing she was only beautiful when somebody else wanted her. To stop accepting crumbs because she was afraid nobody would give her a whole meal.
I would tell her that the woman she would become would still have scars—but those scars would become proof that she survived.
She would learn to say no.
She would learn boundaries.
She would learn that being alone was better than being used.
She would learn that real love doesn't require her to destroy herself to keep it.
And most importantly, she would learn that God had never abandoned her—not even in the darkest rooms, the worst decisions, the addiction, the heartbreak, or the moments when she couldn't recognize herself.
I would look at that younger girl and say:
“I am not ashamed of you. I forgive you. And I love you. You were doing the best you knew how to do with the pain you were carrying. But you don't have to live that way anymore.
There is a woman inside you who is waiting to be born. Keep fighting for her.
One day, you're going to look back at everything you survived and realize—you weren't ruined.
You were being rebuilt.”
If you see parts of your own story in these words, please know that you are not alone. Your pain is valid, your experiences matter, and there is hope for healing. No matter how long you have carried your burdens, growth, restoration, and freedom are possible.
Disclosure: Shared with the client's permission and informed consent.
