10/03/2026
A couple more questions from our Marriage series:
- ๐ค๐๐ฒ๐๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป: ๐ ๐ธ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ฒ๐
๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ฏ๐น๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐น... ๐ฏ๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐๐ผ? ๐๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ต๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ๐
? ๐โ๐บ ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐น๐ผ๐ผ๐ธ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ ๐น๐๐๐๐ณ๐๐น๐น๐ ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐น๐๐๐๐ณ๐๐น ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐ด๐ต๐๐.. ๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฒ๐ป๐ท๐ผ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ.
- ๐ค๐๐ฒ๐๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป: ๐ ๐ ๐ต๐๐๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ป๐๐น๐ ๐๐ผ๐น๐ฑ ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ ๐ฎ๐น๐น ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ถ๐บ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ป ๐ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ฒ, ๐ต๐ฒ ๐ด๐ฒ๐๐ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฒ๐. ๐ฆ๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐๐ ๐ ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐น ๐โ๐บ ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ป๐ ๐ฑ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ธ, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐น๐น ๐ต๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ณ๐๐น๐ณ๐ถ๐น๐น ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ต๐ถ๐บ, ๐ฏ๐๐ ๐ต๐ฒ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐บ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ผ๐ป๐น๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐๐๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ ๐บ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐โ๐ ๐ฎ๐น๐น ๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐น ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฑ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐. ๐ช๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ? ๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐น๐ผ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ป๐ณ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฑ.
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Iโm going to answer these two questions together, even though they are different. Because they both deal with physical intimacy between husbands and wives.
The Apostle Paul writes, in 1 Corinthians 7:3โ5
"3 ๐๐๐ ๐๐ช๐จ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐จ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐ ๐๐ช๐ก๐๐๐ก๐ก ๐๐๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐๐โ๐จ ๐จ๐๐ญ๐ช๐๐ก ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐จ, ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐ ๐๐ช๐ก๐๐๐ก๐ก ๐๐๐ง ๐๐ช๐จ๐๐๐ฃ๐โ๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐จ. 4 ๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐๐จ ๐๐ช๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ง๐๐ฉ๐ฎ ๐ค๐ซ๐๐ง ๐๐๐ง ๐๐ค๐๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐ง ๐๐ช๐จ๐๐๐ฃ๐, ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ช๐จ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐๐จ ๐๐ช๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ง๐๐ฉ๐ฎ ๐ค๐ซ๐๐ง ๐๐๐จ ๐๐ค๐๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐๐."
Hereโs the point: s*x in a marriage is good. But itโs not about pleasing yourselfโitโs about pleasing your spouse. This is not about one spouse demanding and the other having to always give in. Thatโs not what Paul is talking aboutโeach submits their body to the other.
He goes further:
"5 ๐ฟ๐ค ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ง๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐ง ๐ค๐ ๐จ๐๐ญ๐ช๐๐ก ๐ง๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐จ, ๐ช๐ฃ๐ก๐๐จ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐ค๐ฉ๐ ๐๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ง๐๐๐ง๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐ง๐ค๐ข ๐จ๐๐ญ๐ช๐๐ก ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐๐ข๐๐๐ฎ ๐๐ค๐ง ๐ ๐ก๐๐ข๐๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ข๐ ๐จ๐ค ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง๐จ๐๐ก๐ซ๐๐จ ๐ข๐ค๐ง๐ ๐๐ค๐ข๐ฅ๐ก๐๐ฉ๐๐ก๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฅ๐ง๐๐ฎ๐๐ง. ๐ผ๐๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฌ๐๐ง๐, ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐จ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐ ๐๐ค๐ข๐ ๐ฉ๐ค๐๐๐ฉ๐๐๐ง ๐๐๐๐๐ฃ ๐จ๐ค ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐ค๐ฃโ๐ฉ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฉ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐๐๐๐ช๐จ๐ ๐ค๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐จ๐๐ก๐-๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ฉ๐ง๐ค๐ก." (๐๐๐)
There may be a time when one spouse does not have the same s*xual drive as the other. Even when thatโs the case, s*x is still good for both of you. It brings you closer together; it binds your spouseโs heart to yours.
As Paul writes, intimacy in marriage protects you both from Satanโs attacks. If youโre not pursuing each other romantically, Satan may attack your partner with temptation. You are not responsible for their behavior, but you can help protect them.
The important step here is communicationโand not just in the moment when one spouse is aroused. Talk during a neutral time about your expectations. What do you need? What are you feeling?
As unromantic as it sounds, you might have to schedule s*xโespecially when you are both busy as parents and workers, and your energy and arousal donโt always match.
Now I want to speak to the husband who is demanding s*x from his exhausted wife. Peter writes to us:
โ๐๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ข๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฎ, ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐ช๐จ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐จ ๐ข๐ช๐จ๐ฉ ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ค๐ง ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐ฌ๐๐ซ๐๐จ. ๐๐ง๐๐๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐ฌ๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ช๐ฃ๐๐๐ง๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐จ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฉ๐ค๐๐๐ฉ๐๐๐ง. ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐ฎ ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ ๐๐ง ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐ง๐, ๐๐ช๐ฉ ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐จ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐๐ฆ๐ช๐๐ก ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐ฉ๐ฃ๐๐ง ๐๐ฃ ๐๐ค๐โ๐จ ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐ค๐ ๐ฃ๐๐ฌ ๐ก๐๐๐. ๐๐ง๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐๐ง ๐๐จ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐จ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐ ๐จ๐ค ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐ฅ๐ง๐๐ฎ๐๐ง๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐ก๐ก ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ง๐๐.โ (1 ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ง 3:7, ๐๐๐)
Live with understanding. She may be exhausted. She may be feeling uncared for. She may be frustrated with you.
Our wives are weaker physically, but they are equally Godโs children. Do not mistreat Godโs daughter, or your prayers will be hindered. The things that God wants to do in your life, youโre stopping Him!
To the wife, again, I encourage communicationโand not just in the moment. During a neutral time, share your frustrations and feelings.
I encourage you to get counselingโmarriage counseling if your husband is willing, or one-on-one counseling if heโs not. You need support and encouragement.
Iโve seen that s*x in a marriage is more of a thermometer than a thermostat. It tends to show the state of the marriage rather than being something we can just adjust to turn up the heat.
When intimacy drops, itโs usually an indicator of something else missing: missing connection, missing intentionality, or missing communication. Focus on those things, and the intimacy tends to follow.
~ ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ป ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐พ
