09/04/2026
'Cause how could I love someone else?'
'I've never felt this way for no one'
'I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone'
Guess you didn't mean...[when] you said forever'
(634 million views in 5 years)
Many questions arise. Is love a unique feeling that one has for another? If so, can you fall out of love? Or is it a commitment to forever, so that you hang in there through the thick and thin? My generation, dubbed the Rogerian ME GENERATION focused on that special feeling. Such notion was deeply challenged by many. What was one to think when one thought he/she had THAT FEELING, but the other didn't? We quickly labeled that as 'puppy love' or 'infatuation'. Only when the feelings were mutual, we were told, was it that special FEELING we called love. Unfortunately, that kind of reasoning didn't work for those who were convinced they truly loved another, but who did not love in return.
It is tempting to trash the whole notion of love 'as feeling' altogether. In the Christian circles I moved around, feelings were seen as a caboose - last among many considerations and it was deemed wise to ignore them. Feelings were unpredictable and following them easily lead to instability. There’s truth in those criticisms. But it’s also true that feelings have received a bum rap through the centuries. They were to be 'controlled' rather than pursued. They were largely disruptive and tended toward chaos. What we needed was THE WILL - the master of the whimsical swirls within us.
Leaving aside the distinction of emotion and feelings, I do believe ignoring feelings is to ignore an important part of the Christian life. When Scripture says "For the joy set before him [Jesus] he endured the cross," I think we have before us, deep construals that are primal and often move the will and form the mind. In other words, it's a mistake to ignore feelings and view them as the enemy.
That being said, is love primarily a feeling one has for another? Is it a feeling that indicates one is in love, something unique to all other attractions, and one should marry the person whom one is in love, i.e., Carly Simon, That's the Way....?
My best take on the matter is mystery. Mystery? You mean that special romantic attraction? Sort of. The mystery of longing, being enveloped in the love of another, actually reflects a divine truth. Romance reveals the divine longing who crafted human romance for a deeper purpose. Romantic love 'points' to a deeper longing God has for us and we for him. It sets in motion the divine pursuit.
To be sure, love is under-girded with commitment. Love cannot be understood apart from it. Furthermore, human love, the feeling element, is to be formed by the virtues of cherishing, respecting, honoring and serving. In other words, commitment and feelings belong together in a kind of Gordian Knot that is wrapped in the pursuit of something much higher, much larger than romantic feelings. Marriage, then, is a call to lavish time, talent and treasure on the well-being of the beloved. Such a calling produces beauty in the act of loving. It is what God has done for us and we are called to do toward others, especially our wives/husbands.
Listen to 'SOUR': https://OliviaRodrigo.lnk.to/SOURListen to ‘GUTS...
