20/07/2020
The Silver Lining
We have all faced trauma or circumstances of some kind that have shaped us and formed brokenness in us. My story started with a breathe into this world with an abusive father and mother that had endured much trauma and tragedy. She must have felt powerless when he left us when I was six months old, but relief that the abuse she endured from him was over. Alone with two children. One nine year old son and a newborn baby girl. Now set as the one and only provider to her babies. The weight must have been two much. The mental trauma was too much to bear because she left her 5 year daughter in the house alone and went out searching for who knows what. The voice of the enemy mocking loud in her mind. This event sent her to many institutions trying to make things right for her. But the trauma was too much. And she never came back from it. She would finally be healed at the age of 58 as she entered the gates of Heaven.
This is my mom’s story. It’s not mine. It’s hers and hers alone. And along with her, I have face much trauma and tragedy. As a young girl, my grandfather sexually abused me. Trust broken. The one man I had in my life had broken my heart and left me with wounds that remained unhealed well into adulthood. From that moment forward, I felt my grandmothers wings of protection wrapped securely around me at times. She became my constant. Her courage to face opposition was indescribable.
As a girl and teenager, I had allowed my circumstances to steal my voice and speak into my identity. I was quiet, shy, and withdrawn. It wasn’t until I came to know the Lord in 2003 that I began to speak of my pain and brokenness. It started my journey of healing. Throughout this journey, I have been many setbacks and heartaches. More than I can name. But oh the triumphs and miracles that I have experienced! Three amazing godly sons to name a few.
And yet I have chosen a new path. Paving a new way. For my children and my generation. Forerunning for those that are coming behind me. I will not allow my past trauma and tragedy to speak into my future or the world around me. I’m choosing beauty for ashes. My silver lining. My silver lining is that this story will be beautiful. My silver lining is that these events of my process have hard-pressed on me every side, yet not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—”
II Corinthians 4:8-9
