20/03/2026
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HER
It's easy to encourage someone to forgive than it actually is to really forgive.
I have spent over 10 years of my life reconciling families, friends, spouses and it felt so easy because the result of my work was always 90/100 cases I handed were successful reunions.....
Mothers forgave their children and reconciled after I spoke into their life.
Broken relationships, marriages, reconciled after I spoke into their lives.
Lost friendships came back even stronger when they encountered my counsel.
Till I went through this dark phase and season of more than 1 year of being in the bo***ge of unforgiveness. I would speak in tongues over the matter and tell myself I've forgiven, but then when the lights are off, when the night is quiet, and when everyone is asleep, tears would roll down my eyes and memories of the many promises, great times, would flash back and they would turn into dreams, and nightmares that would haunt me by night. Waking up so heavy early in the morning, I would repeat the sequence of speaking in tongues And telling myself I've forgiven yet I did not.
Hearing the name of this person would spoil my day, seeing this particular individual picture anywhere would spoil my appetite for the entire day.
Then I had to face the nightmare of counselling my people again and again on the importance of forgiveness.
For a season I changed my message, I stopped counselling and I didn't want anything to do with this particular subject.
Then came the backsliding, because it was later that I realized you can't be in deep intimate prayer with God, whilst holding so much pain in your heart. My life that was once built on deep fellowship with God, started fading, I became a shadow of myself, preaching from experience and not intimacy.
I tried meditation, and repeating the words I have forgiven, it didn't work. And I knew my only alternative was to face my greatest enemy, the cause of my pain and bitterness face to face, and tell them, I HAVE FORGIVEN YOU.
The very words I thought were easy, became soooo hard for me to say. Forgiveness is easier said than done. But then freedom came, relief came, I could feel myself again, slowly I could see the wounds healing, I would see this person's picture and It wouldn't impact me negatively in any way. Step by step I started picking myself up. I picked what was left from the broken pieces and moved on slowly.
I made the choice to forgive, as hard as it was, so can you.
