14/05/2026
So good! Every kid handles this role in their own way. And of course the people who surround you form that narrative greatly.
TEN THINGS EVERY PASTOR'S KID NEEDS:
1. They need parents who are emotionally present, not just physically available.
A pastor can be “home” while still carrying the weight of the church in their mind. PKs need moments where mom and dad are fully with them without sermon prep, crisis calls, meetings, or church drama sitting at the table too.
2. They need space for their family to breathe.
Sometimes what a pastor’s family needs most is not another conference or leadership push, but margin to be "Normal". Sabbaticals matter. Rest matters. Uninterrupted family seasons matter. So many wounds could be prevented if ministry families had seasons where the shepherd could focus on his own home the way he’s expected to care for everyone else’s.
3. They DON'T need to live in a fishbowl.
PKs already know people are watching them. Every outfit, friendship, attitude, mistake, facial expression, and social media post gets overanalyzed. They do not need more commentary. If you wouldn’t say it to your own child, don’t say it about theirs.
They need permission to be human. Shut up, in the name of Jesus.
4. Pastors’ kids get tired. Confused. Angry. Discouraged.
Hormonal. Awkward. Emotional.
**They are not junior staff members or mascots for the church. They are people learning to follow Jesus too.**
5. They don’t HAVE to serve...don't expect that of them...but if they want to, fuel the fire.
Forced ministry creates resentment. Genuine calling creates passion. Don’t manipulate them into platform involvement because of their last name. But if they do show hunger for God or desire to serve, encourage them hard and help them grow without exploiting them.
6. They need safe people outside of their parents.
Every PK needs trusted adults who are not impressed by ministry titles and are not looking for church gossip. Mentors. Coaches. Youth leaders. Friends. People who love them for who they are, not for access to their family. And people they know they can trust to LISTEN and give wisdom without repeating or leveraging. People like that are few and far between.
7. They need prayer more than your assumptions or "advice."
People assume PKs are rebellious. Entitled. Wild. Spiritually mature. Spiritually damaged. The assumptions go both ways. They're stereotypes in country music, tv shows, and jokes for a reason... but, instead of creating narratives about them, pray for them. Quietly. Regularly. Specifically.
8. They need church members to stop weaponizing church conflict around them.
Never make a child carry adult bitterness. Don’t dump your offense with the pastor onto the pastor’s kids. Some PKs still remember the names and words of adults who attacked their parents years ago, I know I do...even when they were right about the things they said... they didn't need to be said to me.
9. They need to know they are loved apart from ministry performance.
If the only time they receive affirmation is when they sing, preach, serve, smile, or behave perfectly, they start believing love is earned. PKs need to know they matter even when they’re struggling, doubting, grieving, or sitting quietly in the back row.
10. They need a real relationship with Jesus for themselves.
Not inherited faith. Not platform faith. Not “my parents are Christians” faith. Real faith. Personal faith. Honest faith. The healthiest PKs are not the ones who perform Christianity the best, they’re the ones who learn that Jesus meets them personally, not just their family publicly.
*taken from Jon Groves
