Metro Methodist Church

17/11/2022

17/11/2022

Worship team is ready....for the youth rally...

17/11/2022

This Friday....

21/07/2022

Well done to the Metro family and Boxer for sharing smiles on Mandela Day on Monday... Oh and sharing cake and juice ..

15/05/2022

26/04/2022

26/03/2022

This is excellent - it’s worth taking the time to read it...

GLOBAL RECALL NOTICE

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms include:

1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is
P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self-control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will need to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention!

PS: Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important Recall Notice, and you may contact the Father any time by "kneemail".

08/03/2022

of the day:

Help us to understand the breadth, depth and height of your love for us and for others so that we work with humility, across the divisions, for justice for all

www.methodist.org.uk/prayeroftheday

02/03/2022

We are having an Ash Wednesday service this evening at 6pm....please join us.

27/02/2022

Prayers for peace as war and chaos reign. May swords be turned to plowshares and God's Kin-dom be established in Ukraine. Protect her people Lord. Keep her safe.

"We are horrified and heartbroken as we witness the violent assault on Ukraine by the Russian military .. we pray for the Ukrainian and Russian peoples, including the Methodist church leaders in the region and the Methodist communities across Ukraine. Christians are called to ‘pursue peace with everyone’ (Hebrews 12:14); this mandate is clear and requires courage, perseverance and understanding.”
Read the full statement on Ukraine from the Methodist Presidency here:
http://ow.ly/b9Oi50I4fxp

25/02/2022

God of peace and justice, we pray for the people of Ukraine today and for all your precious children.