Diary of a Church Girl

Diary of a Church Girl Life is a journey, we often speak of the tar road part of our lives and choose to ignore the gravel and that is where many are left behind and backslide.

15/11/2025

Dear Church Girl,

I have discovered that Bible study time is a beautiful thing, as I learn so much. Taking notes and doing homework to research certain scriptures further helps me gain a better understanding. I am particularly interested in references to the Old Testament, which I read and try to understand the significance behind. This has inspired me to consider attending Bible school. Otherwise, I will seek out those with a certain level of intellect to broaden my understanding, those who can see beyond the parables because they too speak in parables.

Bible Study is such a beauty ❤️.

12/08/2024

Do not let your desire become your downfall.

Sometimes the things we desire pull us away from Christ without realising, and next thing you in too deep to even cry wolf.

You deceive yourself in trusting in God so much that you start "helping" him by making assumptions that maybe it's the environment I'm in that is preventing one to reach their destination. You try to "open" your eyes and "ears" to so desperately "hear" or see a sign that will align with what you desire. You seek the counsel from everybody else but your maker, for a moment society makes better sense than entertaining the thought that just maybe it's not God's will for you.

Judas Iscariot loved money so much that when he was offered money to betray Jesus he got excited by the funds that for a moment nothing else mattered. After his betrayal he had a realisation of what his desire cost him, suddenly it was all meaningless, and that very desire cost him his life. His desire pushed him away from God and not toward God.

Be careful that what you desire doesn't cost you your salvation. The Bible says every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord. It's encourages us to trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding.

Proverbs 3:6 NLT
Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

I urge you Not let your desire be your downfall. ♥️🙏

11/11/2023

Pray for your dreams

I have always had weird dreams, as a child I would fight spirits in my dreams in many forms.

I was graced coz I always won. Sometimes I would be pulled by a force I don't understand and I'd be saved by calling the name Jesus to open locked doors in my dreams. One day, I dreamt being invited to dine in a room that was full of ugly creatures who wouldn't stop fighting and I knew this place was evil. I analyzed the food on the table and it all looked creepy like human liver, kidney but disguised as a cake. I kept questioning everything without eating and this Male next to me who seemed like the boss got angry and said get rid of her and I woke up.

The dreams escalated to me being shot all the time, if I see a gun I knew, Sekunjalo. The Holy Spirit taught me to pray for my dreams and this has always helped me not to succumb to whatever the devil throws in my dreams but to rise above.

There was once a season where I would dream of males trying to have sexual intercorse with me and It all seemed too real, like the devil was trying to steal my virginity in the dreams. A voice always came with instructions, "don't give in", " it's a trap", "wake up". So all those attempts failed.

Last night, I prayed as I still always pray for my dreams and I met a friend I knew back in high school. We were excited to see each other and hugged passionately. After the hug, her suddenly became serious and said " you will grieve your husband coz you drank the blood you were given, to avoid this leave the church you in now and serve under xyz church. You belong with us now"

For a moment I was like what blood, it was like I had a quick flash back and for a moment I could taste everything I ever drank. Than I knew she was lying and it was a trick.

I said with authority " YOU ARE LYING, I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER DRINK BLOOD. YOU ATTEMPTED BUT YOU FAILED, I WAS CHASED OUT OF HELL COZ I REFUSED TO EAT ANYTHING THAT WAS ON THE TABLE ND DRINK. I WILL NOT GRIEVE MY HUSBAND OR LEAVE MY CHURCH", and she immediately looked down and walked away.

It is only the Holy Spirit who can save us from the continued traps of the devil. If you have weird Dreams at times like me. ALWAYS PRAY FOR YOUR DREAMS AND PRAYER FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT INTERVENTION IN YOUR DREAMS ❤️🙏

01/11/2023

Save us from the coffin.

It breaks my heart to witness so many youngsters dying. We now bury more youth than we do our elders.

Oh Lord, save our generation. Grant us the grace of long life like you did our grandparents and parents. Save us from our self's and decision making process.

May we truly give you the right to direct our lives. May we be healed from all sicknesses and deliver us from wickedness, untimely death.

25/10/2023

Count your blessings

Today I had a discussion with my older sister, I was telling her of an advanced car I saw at the Mall and how I could not fix the handle upon opening the door.

We laughed about how I would trade in my picanto for that car, lapho the worth of my car is not even a quarter worth the car of reference. I started talking about how God is able to do exceedingly above what we think or imagine. I sarcastically said, don't ask me about my record and God's exceedingly above in my life coz I'm am flames as we speak.

I immediately felt convicted and started speaking about how when we go through a season of trail and storms we forgot of the good the Lord has done for us, all the exceedingly above moments that had us scream in joy, some even cry tears of joy, in expression of thankfulness and like rain water when the sun comes out it all evaporates like it never rained.

I started speaking of the Blessings that I could remember at the time and I was immediately pumped up with new hope that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD.

It's a Blessing that
1. My parents still live
2. I have the previlage of an income monthly
3. I have the grace to drive from point A to B
4. I have A God I can rely on and comes through even in the smallest things
5. I have food to eat no matter what it may be
6. I have shelter to lay my had at night and blankets for warmth
7. I have security that I am protected by a greater power than my own against the forces of evil in the world
Etc

Days are not the same, I too work alone like many out there in their households but Count your Blessings, from the smallest to the Biggest, remember the Joy's and the Screams, the excitement and the thrills. YOU AND GOD HAVE HISTORY, HIS NOT GONNA LEAVE YOU NOW.

COUNT THOSE BLESSINGS ❤️🙏 HE CARES

15/10/2023

My hidden desire,

I grow up in a church presence, most of my life, like, if not all of it. Im in a church that is big on Holy living and pursuing holiness in everything you do. Constant repentance, and family oriented, like church members literally become your second family coz it's personal like that.

So, when I saw people worshipping out of control that always got to me like, why are they crying? Is being filled by the Holy Spirit sad coz these people cry, clap and ironically sing your praises Lord. This happened around me so much that I began, crying too but only coz I imagined the worst things just so I could fit in. 😅

One faithful day, I was playing with other teens at the time in a church conference and this pastor wanted to pray so I shut my eyes, I don't remember if I also prayed, I just respected prayer. I remember it was like my mind was stretched beyond it's maximum capacity that I felt the indescribable Holyness of the presence of the Holy Spirit.

It was so magistic, I too found myself crying, mucus coming from my noise, I was in a zone I can't explain, I remember one the kids giving me a tissue and I knew immediately why they cry.

I gave my life to Christ and got Baptised 5 months later. The second, third, forth, 5th encounters blew my minds every time. My knees got weak and I knelt on the floor or set on the chair. It's a feeling beyond your birthday excitement or anything I can put in words.

My deepest desire, in my prayer corner is for the Youth or anyone who has never felt how it is to loose your sanity in the presence of the Holy Spirit to have their first encounter. It takes salvation, your faith, and your relationship with Christ to a whole new level.

Salvation becomes personal and not a religious commitment. It's joyous, it's next level, it's Amazing. It's my therapy, my savior and Sanity....

10/09/2023

“For I hold you by your right hand— I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

06/09/2023

I need a Saviour

Lord I am loosing my mind literally so. Angaz what is wrong with me but I can assure you that I am loosing my mind.

I can't work, touch a book, read a Bible, pray at least, and no matter how long I sleep I still feel tired. I feel like screaming, eating not stop, cry, smoke, yes smoke anything to clear my mind.

Funny part I don't have a history of smoking but hey 😔, I feel like I'm gonna get the worst news of my life and I am not even praying about it. I went to church Monday and I tell you I just wanted to walk out.

What confuses me is all this is sudden, I was fine than Sunday Boom I'm flat out. I can't sleep but I also can't do anything productive with my time, I just wanna be a baby and cry but I don't know why.

I need a savior, I am drowning but there's no water that I can see atleast. Please tell me what to do, Save me from Me, I NEED YOU

AMEN

13/08/2023

The Grave

Who can ever be ready it? I was watching my tiktok as usual and next thing I'm in a trend of watching the preparation of the deceased, the viewing process to burial.

This became to real to me esp since I did loose someone close to my heart and I was like yoh friend is this what you went through. Someone around me also died and I heard the conversations from the announcement of her death to the family going to confirm her death.

It took me back to AKA, a man of great influence but when death came he too laid on the street covered and awaiting his ride to the mortuary.

We get so caught up in our day to day lives that it's easy to enter into the routine or cycle of life. We sleep confident that tomorrow morning we gonna wake up, leave the house expecting to return. We make plans like every body else and like a thief boom death comes.

Suddenly it all becomes real that yoh I am dead. We are left to reap the consequences of our life choices and don't get a second chance to fix it. Suddenly salvation matters more than anything else we did.

Oh my God, Help me not take advantage of life coz we are only borrowed it. I just miss my best friend Gugu so much right now and there's no way I can talk to her. I don't know if I can unsee what I saw kodwa I pray to take my salvation seriously so I may be in peace after death.

Help us Lord for the grave is real, death is real so I know for sure that you are real. May I not full around and waist time coz I too don't know how long I have.

Dear Church Girl, Take Christ Seriously 🌹❤️🙏

31/05/2023

Some friendships don’t last 4 long, bt there is 1 loving friend who is joined to your heart closer than any other!
Proverbs 18:24 TPT

29/05/2023

Now, to the one with enough power to prevent you from stumbling into sin and bring you faultless before his glorious presence to stand before him with ecstatic delight, to the only God our Savior, through our Lord Jesus Christ, be endless glory and majesty, great power and authority—from before he created time, now, and throughout all the ages of eternity. Amen!
Jude (Judah) 1:24‭-‬25 TPT

22/05/2023

and [that you may come] to know [practically, through personal experience] the love of Christ which far surpasses [mere] knowledge [without experience], that you may be filled up [throughout your being] to all the fullness of God [so that you may have the richest experience of God’s presence in your lives, completely filled and flooded with God Himself].
Ephesians 3:19 AMP



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