09/15/2021
Additional thoughts for Yom Kippur:
The Yiddish author Moshe Bunem Justman, writing under the pseudonym B. Yeushzohn, wrote this story about Kapparoth, the ceremony we perform in the days before Yom Kippur to help effect atonement for our sins.
A day before Yom Kippur eve, a chasid came to the famous Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk in order to see how the rabbi does the Kapparoth ceremony and try to learn anything he could from it. The rabbi instructed the chasid to travel to a nearby village to the Jewish innkeeper and to remain there overnight. The chasid followed these instructions and travelled directly to the village inn. As he entered, the chasid surveyed the room and saw it was full of customers, some in various states of inebriation, and the innkeeper and his wife were busy serving the customers and keeping the peace. The chasid silently sat down in a dark corner, made believe he was asleep, and waited while observing through slightly open eyes.
After midnight when the last of the customers finally left and with the chasid still sitting in the dark corner unnoticed, he saw the innkeeper going back and forth through the room, sighing, and then his wife presented him with two old worn ledger books that she had pulled out from under the bed. The innkeeper opened up one ledger book, and, crying, started reading from its pages line by line a list of all the sins which he had the misfortune of committing that year. On such and such day, he failed to help a poor man sufficiently; on a different day, he listened to foul language coming from some of his customers; on yet another day, he let his mind wander during prayers into evil thoughts; and so on and so forth, he went down the long list, one by one, while weeping bitter tears.
When he finished the first book, he then opened up the second ledger book and again started reading each page, entry by entry. In this second book was written all his worries, problems, and troubles that he suffered during the past year. This was a very very long list. There was hardly a day without some form of grief and misfortune. When he finally finished this book too, he hung his head over the table while deep in thought. After a long period of contemplation, he raised his head, looked heavenward, and said, “Master of the Universe! I cannot deny that I have wronged You most grievously. I am guilty of many offenses against You. However, You too have wronged me and You too are guilty, as it were, of offenses against me. In summation of our activities, I don’t know whose debt is greater and who deserves redress; it is beyond my ability to calculate and understand. So, Master of the Universe, let us make a deal and call things even. Your debt for my debt, this book for that book, this list of offenses for that list of troubles, ….” and the innkeeper proceeded to the words of the Kapparoth ceremony, “…. This is my exchange, this is my substitute, this is my atonement.”
The chasid watched this with open mouthed astonishment. Little by little, it dawned on him why Rabbi Elimelech sent him there. It was in order to learn the true meaning of the Kapparoth ceremony and repentance; true atonement, achievable in a state when a person is at one with one’s G-d.