06/06/2022
The biggest thing with PTSD is that it is a holding on, it's an attempt to understand the trama, the why's... as long as no sense can be made of it, it gets held on to. We do need answers, but we make the mistake of thinking we can make sense of something evil. And that gives a foothold. That's when the security blanket we hold, starts to hug us back, and at first its comforting, but soon it starts to become a boa constrictor.
The way out of it is to seek first the kingdom of heaven, to hold tight and run to God every time those thoughts start repeating as we try to figure it all out. Instead to going down that familiar well worn path, we hit stop and run to God. We sit there in deep prayer. We rest in His arms so that boa constrictor releases. And when we see it slither up again, be run back to Gods arms. In that space God will give answers, but we have to want fellowship with God more than we want the answers.
Basically till we get to that spot we are meditating upon, ruminating on, regurgitating the trama. Its retramatizing. Its living inside the cycle that got us into the cycle. Cant keep doing the same thing and expect something different to result. Gotta train the mind to rethink and meditate upon the things of God. It's not a pretent it away thing, it a press into God and He will be faithful to lead through that dark valley. ,
