04/28/2026
The Dog Man shat dutifully his loaf of bread onto the Hema conveyor belt. He was a Dog Man, from a dog father and a human mother. His father was a large Tibetan mastiff and his mother was a white lady who loved dogs, especially big ones, a little too much.
The only place Antonion, scourge of this world, could land a job was the Dutch department chain Hema--the best store on earth. There, the execs used his rare bodily fluids as a renewable resource. His s**t turned into loaves of bread and pastry used to make Tompouce. His p**s turned into Tompouce icing. Even his dick cheese turned into whatever it is they put in Dubai chocolate.
They kept him chained up on display while he roared and roared as his fluids were harvested. But he had a great pension; such is the dependable Dutch system.
One day, the evil mad scientists at Hema were caressing his ni***es trying to get something to come out and also give him gynocomastia in the process--bitch t**s. They hypothesized that his ni**le milk would be sweet like roomkaas & honing. But so far, all previous experiments had failed.
One day, a woman came into the store. It was Sydney Sweeney. S**t I mean the copyright-safe Dutch actress Sidonie Swenne. Antonion locked eyes with her from across the store, and for a moment all the pain and torment of the constant experiments and his chafing ni***es fell away. She had just wrapped up filming for the day on the set of Euphoria, I mean the hit Dutch drama "Euforie" season 3 and was still in her full dog makeup. She was a ray of sunshine in Antonion’s dark dark world...
Sidonie Swenne glided across the Hema floor, breasts bouncing boobily while she deftly dodged shoppers, aisles, and employees alike. Finally, she arrived at Antonion, falling into his strong, fluffy chest.
“...Who did this to you...?” She asked, running her fingers down his chest.
“The Hema CEO, Jan-Pieter Jansen,” replied Antonion with a frail cough. He could not return her embrace, for he was strung up on a giant iron cross with his wrists and ankles strapped down tight.
“Although, the pension is really good here...” he sputtered, drool dripping down his chin as he lost consciousness. A Hema scientist scurried over to catch the drool in a glass beaker before it could fall to the floor.
“I’m gonna get you out of here,” wept Sidonie as she caressed Antonion’s chest. Her tears slowly soaked into his fur.
Just then, some crazy s**t went down..
As Sidonie Swenne’s tears soaked into Antonion’s chest, a miracle began to happen. The muscle fibers in his tissues relaxed. Due to his unconscious state, the fascia lost tension and the tears were able to slip through microscopic tears in the flesh. Like thousands of tiny moles burrowing through dirt, they made their way deep, Penetrating Antonion’s chest.
When all of a sudden, one single teardrop pierced the dormant mammary tissue in Antonion’s left breast.
Antonion’s entire unconscious body writhed and undulated like an inflatable tube man, chains rattling against the iron cross that could barely hold the surge of energy running through his body. Stress fractures ripped across multiple bones as his muscles tugged with more force than his normally conscious mind would allow. Sidonie was thrown away from his whipping torso.
And then it happened: a lone, single drop of milk glistened from Antonion’s quiet ni**le. It quivered in the fluorescent light of the department store. All eyes in the store gazed at the nectar as it welled up on the tip of his ar**la.
Sidonie Swenne was the first to snap out of the spell, lunging back towards Antonion. The head Hema scientist, Eric De Vries snapped awake second, lunging at Sidonie with a giant needle syringe in his hand.
In a swift and practiced motion, he plunged the syringe into her exposed thigh.. But it was too late.
Her lips locked to Antonion’s ni**le, sucking down the entire drop of his precious milk before the sedative kicked in. Eric De Vries wrestled her off him, wrenching her barely-conscious jaws apart, but it was too late; the milk had traveled to her B-list belly.
~
In a darkly lit boardroom in an inconspicuous building in the heart of Amsterdam, Jan-Pieter Jansen, CEO of Hema slammed his meaty fist down onto his mahogany desk, cratering the veneer and splintering the wood underneath. He had seen it all unfold via security camera, of which he had access to a livestream of all 18 Hema stores at all times.
“God Verdomme!” He cried, as Frikandel Speciaal dripped from his furious maw.
But quickly, he fell silent. A sinister grin curled across his lips and the first seeds of a Plan began to take root in his rational, pragmatic mind. He didn’t become CEO by blubbering and malding after all. He became CEO because HE was Jan-Pieter Jansen, son of Jan Pietersen, the previous CEO of Hema.
~
When Sidonie Swenne came to, she was laying on her couch in her apartment that overlooked the canal. She sighed with relief. The afternoon had been a blur, between true love at first sight and the struggle for the Milk.
“Quite a stunt you pulled this afternoon,” remarked a shadowy figure gazing out the window, back turned to Sidonie.
“W-who’s there??” She cried.
“It is I.”
Eric De Vries, Hema’s head scientist turned to face her.
“W-what do you want from me?? Stammered Sidonie Swenne.
“Oh nothing, nothing more than what is already, rightfully, contractually ours,” sneered Eric De Vries.
“Do not worry. If it were up to me, we’d slit your belly, grab the milk, and be done with this whole mess. But the boss has.. Other plans. He’s rather intrigued by you Sidonie. He’s ready to pay you a very handsome sum, and in exchange all you have to do is get the milk to flow. You see, we at Hema have been eyeing a line of nippelboter roomkaas smaak koekjes only theorized to exist, but we need that milk. And not just one drop. A steady flow.. Surveys show consumers grow weary of the dick cheese Dubai chocolates... So, what do you say?”
“If I do this... will you let him go?”
“I’m afraid we cannot guarantee that, Ms. Swenne.”
“Then you’ll get nothing from me. I love him!”
“Yes... the boss thought you might say that.. Very well,” Eric De Vries gritted his teeth and turned to leave.
“Pardon the intrusion. Do stop by the store soon Ms. Swenne, we’ve always got a fresh batch of tompouce baking...” Eric De Vries slammed the apartment door shut behind him.
A wave of concern washed over Sidonie Swenne, and her tummy gurgled ominously..
~
Every day after filming, Sidonie Swenne stopped by the Hema to check on Antonion. But for weeks, he could not be found. They had taken him down, leaving the empty iron cross T-posing menacingly in the middle of the store. The official statement was that this was to give the Dog Man time to repair his cracked bones. But Sidonie felt suspicious.
After 3 weeks, Sidonie happened to peek in the window on her way home. There he was! Strung up on the iron cross as normal, as if nothing had happened. She rushed into the store, sprinted across the aisles and leapt into his arms without so much as a single thought.
“Antonion, my love! You’re back!! How I’ve missed you...” she crooned.
Antonion stared listlessly at the floor.
“M-my love, it’s me! Sidonie Swenne from the hit show Euforie! I’ve come back to rescue you so we can be together forever~”
A hint of.. Something... flashed behind Antonion’s eyes. Was it recognition, or did his puppy shnoz just catch a whiff of some savory saucijzenbroodje on the air?
“...”
“I don’t think we’ve met. Could you please move? You’re stepping on my paw. Sorry.” said Antonion in a monotone voice. He’d barely even looked at Sidone, and here was his answer. Sidone was crushed.
~
The next morning, Sidonie threw up 12 times in the toilet. She went to the doctor.
“You’re pregnant,” said the doc. But this wasn’t possible.
“Looks like the foetus is 3 weeks old,” he said, tapping on the monitor. Anything ring a bell?
“The.. milk...” Sidonie reeled. That’s right. Sidonie Swenne was carrying Antonion the Dog Man’s baby in her B-list belly. She sprinted out of the hospital, which sat conveniently right next to the Hema. She burst in through the doors and stomped up to the iron cross.
“I’m pregnant, and it’s your baby!” Cried Sidonie.
[to be continued...]
