12/08/2023
God asked me to be transparent, once again, because someone needs this. So here it is..lol:
God blesses us in TREMENDOUS ways! We have seen miracles, signs, and wonders. We have been completely healed in major miraculous ways and He has USED us to heal others as well! He has sent us on a couple of vacations fully and completely paid…spending and all…because He had to show us our futures in those places, and He knew that we did not have the provision to go. We are literally to write BOOKS of how He shows up for our family.
That said…the suffering is INSANE as well! One place that we are continually attacked, and/or tested in is health and finances. While some of it is our own mistakes/places to grow…there is a lot that is just the way we are pruned, refined, and purified.
So here I am..fighting another major health situation. I’m in so much pain…almost always. Several times I have been to the ER just because the pain became so unbearable that it took morphine to get it under control again. I am working on it..I have specialists and specialists in progress and all the things…but I’ve been here before, several years ago. I had fought a battle that looked like it was going to be the end of me…but God! 🙌🏼
It’s not easy to see and know how concerned my family is for me, and to know that I can not work and contribute at this time, and to see my husband work SO HARD to carry our family and know that I can’t help. I’m doing small things, but the burden falls on him…but God is our provider and He is mighty!!
Financial issues have consistently been another test. I grew up with so much financial knowledge…I know how the world does it and how it works, and yet there have been many times that God literally shut our finances down, or asked us to deplete our savings and investments and trust Him. It didn’t matter how hard we worked or what we did. It was for various reasons..some to show us we were missing it, some to show us a deeper level of tithing and blessing, some to remove what I knew from the world and replace it with what I know of Him. But I tell you that we have always blessed others regardless of what we faced in our own lives…so many thought we were wealthy because we live to bless others…when in reality. lol. But God is our provider and we bank on the bank of Jesus!
It’s a very odd place to be SO blessed in one hand, and then to also not have the money to buy your daughters contacts, or to work every single day to buy the food that you are having for dinner that night. (Praise God for DAILY provision!🙌🏼) It’s heartbreaking to not be able to do for our children like we wish we could.
But then God reminded me of all of my answered prayers and how many times He has been our rescuer! I’m living in Virginia Beach (living in the ocean is one of the greatest desires of my heart) with ALL of my children, when it appeared that we would only be able to move with the twins. God sent us and asked us to trust him…it was gut wrenching…because I knew He had a plan, but my children did not. They had to think their mom was just leaving them behind. It was horrible! But, here we are! When we were told time and time again “impossible “…here we are…sitting at our dinner table…TOGETHER!!! It happened quickly…He is SO GOOD!
When we need to leave a home, and there have been MANY…He brings us to better. Sometimes we take steps that APPEAR as if we are heading backwards, but that’s in OUR way of thinking. But His ways are so much higher than ours. We just have to trust.
Every time it looks as if we are going backwards, or we are walking through something that brings daily tears…it always ends up bringing something BEAUTIFUL in the end from it!
I say all of this to say… I KNOW pain! I KNOW suffering intimately! I KNOW crying yourself to sleep each night and crying out to God. I know what walking through the fire is…I have had a literal lifetime of it! But I also know God on a level that many do not, because they have not said “yes” to Him. Because fully…FULLY surrendering it ALL to Him is not for the faint of heart. But to KNOW HIM and be held by Him and to be USED by Him…there is NO GREATER THING! I would go through it all over and over and over again for the beauty that comes from being His.
We might not be able to give our children so many things that we wish that we could…so many things that most kids have; but one thing that we can give them is to know what a fully surrendered and obedient life to Christ is. Not without fault, not without error…we are human for sure…but my children know that I do everything to walk in obedience..even when it’s utterly terrifying and insanely painful. But they also have witnessed His tremendous love being poured out on us as a result of our trust in Him. It is absolutely undeniable that He is with us.
They don’t know it yet…the struggle is REAL…but what they will receive from this walk with God is greater than anything the world could ever give them. My only goal is to build a legacy of love and of glorifying Him in all…ALL that we do! I want to build a legacy for my children to step into because they walked through the fire right beside me…and saw God work in His mighty, majestic, and beautiful ways! I want to be used, by Him, to change the world…and I am raising world changers…and it is all because of His love and for His glory!
HE IS WORTHY!!!🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
I love you all so very much! 💞