06/01/2026
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
The ultimate passion and goal of every Christian parent is to raise sons and daughters with a heart for God—a hunger for Christ that compels them to seek the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. What Christian parent wants to raise a spiritual wimp, a spiritual rebel or a child cold and calloused to the things of God? Those are exactly the kind of kids many professing Christians are raising—undisciplined, uninterested in the things of God, and uninvolved in spiritual activities.
My wife and I raised two children. Our oldest is a girl, now married and with one child. Our youngest is a boy, engaged and soon to be married. Our daughter was fourteen years old and our son eleven years old when they accepted Christ as Savior. Both were in church every time the doors were opened. However, we are certainly not experts in raising children.
I know there are no guarantees when it comes to raising kids. God built every person with the moral capacity to make right and wrong decisions. I know many wonderful, godly parents whose hearts have been broken by the rebellion and irresponsibility of their children. Every time a child makes a mistake, the enemy loves to accuse the parents, making them feel guilty. There comes a point that parents have to release that child and not bear the guilt of their wrong decisions.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). This verse is saying that your child is like a bow made to be bent a certain way. When you bend him or her the way intended, that individual will keep that shape for life and never vary from it.
If you bend a bow the wrong way, it will break. Every child God gives a parent is like an unstrung bow, and He has built into that child unique personality traits, dispositions, strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. No two children are the same. You must bend each in the direction God has purposed for them.
Raising children with a heart for God actually starts with the parents, not with the kids. Broken parents tend to produce broken kids. If our parents had particular issues or faults, we may easily repeat them. We should also evaluate our own personalities to avoid reproducing the same sin and weakness in our children that our parents may have produced in us. What traits do you want to pass on to your children and what traits do you not want to pass on?
The only way to be free from sin and the fleshly pattern of life is to embrace the truth of God’s Word. To do this we must allow Christ to be Lord of our lives. Carnal and indifferent parents tend to produce kids who walk away from Christ and the church. Parents must be totally serious about their walk with God and live under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. As a father, you had better be authentic in your walk with God, or you will be responsible for turning your kids away from God.
Godly parenting is proactive. The words “train up” are highly intentional. We must pray a lot about our children. Then we pray some more—for discernment, calmness, wisdom, and many other things, but we pray for God to teach us how to parent His way. We must observe our children to see what they are interested in. We have to spend time with our kids, listen to them, and develop the art of communication with them.
Once you understand your child’s unique strengths and interests, you may pour yourself into developing those strengths. Be sure to start early, while they are pliable.
You only get one opportunity in raising children with a heart for God. The spiritual atmosphere you create at home is one of the major tools you have for shaping your child’s life. I cannot say it strongly enough: a secure marriage shapes your children more than anything. It is the most influential factor. Nothing impacts kids more than a healthy and vital marriage, so do whatever it takes to have a happy, secure, and loving marriage.
To Think and Pray About...
• There are no guarantees when it comes to raising kids, but we can seek the Lord and His strength in the process!
• In what ways would you like to see your children demonstrate a heart for God? Think of two or three things you could do to help foster this.
• “Lord, help me, in my marriage to create a culture and atmosphere that will nurture faith and godliness on the part of my children.”
—Mark D. Partin
This chapter is from The Extraordinary Father. Father’s Day is just a few weeks away! Click on the link below to check out our Father’s Day quantity discounts.
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