We can't just NOT have a Pope. And, before the onrushing tide of complete loonies and heathens and hedonist sadist bigoted buggerers of children begins amassing any real support, I would like to reach out and say loud and clear to friends and family- I SHOULD BE THE NEXT POPE!!! I was baptized, I think, so I probably have all the qualifications (N**i credentials notwithstanding)- I think I am a cl
oser approximation of the REAL Catholic. I haven't been to church since the last death in the family, I drink religiously, and pray away hangovers (there's no better 'miracle cure' out there), I feel guilty sometimes when I ma******te, p**p, or think a girl is pretty. I am the product of thousands of years of conditioning, and won't pretend to know any more than you what to make of that- but we will NOT be MISREPRESENTED by pe*****le sadists with scary badger eyes ANYMORE!!! Please join in support of my hope for a realer, more relatable, less perverted pope- ME!! (Besides I need a place to live)
Finally, if I am allowed in the Vatican, I promise my first official act as Pope will be to beat the s**t outta that chi-mo'-in', Caligula-wannabe, raccoon-faced, Hi**er Youth Knife- Distributin', evil-grtinnin', stank ass, musty-ball-havin, Emporer Palpatine-lokalike 'Benedict' Ratzinger mo********er, and kick huis ass out so he can eb tried like the mere mortal he is. Yes We Can!
