10/07/2025
Jacob, alumni of Tumpline Ministries, now fire fighter in Alaska wrote this poem in the style of Robert Service. Enjoy!
The Ballad of the Stuck Bar
Now gather ‘round, you fire-folk bold, and hear my woeful song,
Of a saw that bit too deep one day, and held its bite too long.
I swung my axe of gasoline, with fury, fire, and grit,
But that stubborn spruce it laughed at me—and swallowed up my kit!
I wedged it once, I wedged it twice, I wedged it seven more,
The tree just smirked and gripped my bar as if to say, “Nice chore!”
I hammered like a lumberjack, I cursed the forest wide,
But that cursed stem refused to budge—my saw was trapped inside!
At last I made the cruelest cut, removed the power head,
I left my bar, my chain, my pride, in that old stump instead.
Another sawyer took his turn, he felled the beast with glee,
And down it crashed, a coffin made for bar and wedges three.
We dug and pried and sawed away, with surgeon’s patient hand,
Extracting steel and iron teeth from stubborn stump and stand.
At last we freed the mangled pile—my bar, my chain, my shame,
Seven wedges scarred but saved—oh forestry’s cruel game!
So laugh, you hardened hotshots all, who’ve never known defeat,
But know the woods are sly and proud, and never face them sweet.
For the forest keeps her humor sharp, her vengeance swift and raw,
And once she’s had her chuckle… she’ll return your bar and saw.
