Infertility and Faith at GracePointe

08/09/2024

04/01/2024

The Cruelest April Fool’s Day Joke:

Today as you may know is April Fools day. Since Facebooks existence or since photo sharing was allowed, every April Fools day some one on my timeline posts a pregnancy announcement as a joke. I’ve seen this happen so many countless times over the years, and I used to think nothing of it until I lost my first child, not to mention the hurt that came with every miscarriage and loss that followed. Trust me, I was that naive one who thought getting pregnant was easy and having children was even easier. Like it was a decision that you just made, and boom, within a year you held a precious little baby. I didn’t realize until my own experience that pregnancy is a beautiful gift. It is truly a miracle when God breaths life into your child at birth. We should not mock the blessings of God.

You never know what the future holds and joking about being pregnant on April Fools day will hurt those you love who have experienced loss, infertility, or simply can’t have children due to other issues.

Since joining this club of loss parents that no one wants to know about, never-the-less join, so many have shared how painful and triggering this popular April Fool’s Day joke is. Many take the day off of social media on April 1st because it’s so prevalent–so prevalent that, honestly, it’s overdone and not even funny. And though we know it’s not intentional, it’s hurtful for so many.

So, before you think about posting this overdone April Fool’s Day joke, think about the friends and acquaintances in your community who are…
…finding out their baby no longer has a heartbeat.

…laboring with their baby who has died.

…struggling with infertility.

…staring at yet another negative pregnancy test.

…planning a funeral for their baby who died.

…leaving the hospital with empty arms.

…sitting in the specialist’s office finding out their baby will not live.

…having a D&C after experiencing a miscarriage.

…finding out their IVF didn’t work.

…deciding they cannot take any more heartbreak and loss.

…visiting their baby at the cemetery.

…staring at a positive pregnancy test, hoping this one might live.

…grieving the loss of their baby.

…struggling to celebrate their pregnancy after loss because they are terrified.

Many suffer in silence. You may think you don’t know anyone going through this.
But, one in four women will experience pregnancy loss. One in eight women will experience infertility. You know someone. Skip the fake pregnancy announcement this April Fool’s Day.

03/17/2024

https://youtu.be/G46yeDl2b0A?si=rP346uHW7lesLuB7

03/16/2024

On Tuesday, March 19, let's start Bulletproof Marriages

• A healthy marriage is proof that spouses have well-functioning human relationships. We may ask ourselves, what is the formula for some Marriages to last, while others end in divorce? It is not something magical. The main reason is that each spouse has learned to put a filter on 2 different areas of their lives: a filter on their mouth, a filter on their eyes, and a filter on their hearts.

Day 1 Sample:
Relationships
Our relationships with our coworkers, with people in general, are affected by the way we live at home, especially if we are married. Our personal life can be built up, encouraged, or held back by what happens at home. When there is no peace at home, our lives do not function properly, and it affects everything we do.

We may ask ourselves why some marriages last while other marriages end up in divorce. What is the formula? It is not something magical. There is no simple answer to be found.

The main reason why a marriage is successful is that the spouses have learned to put a filter on three different areas of their lives: a filter on what they say (their mouth), a filter on how they see each other (their eyes), and a filter on their hearts.

Can't wait to see you there!
https://bible.com/p/65277313/77f2030326591026a9221061fb880bfa

11/20/2023

On Tuesday, November 21, let's start 6 Tips if the Holidays Are Hard for You by Karen Jensen Salisbury

• Not everyone has jolly Holidays. If you're alone, or you've suffered loss, or had a tough year, all the joy and celebrating can make you feel horrible. It seems like a mockery in your face of painful memories, lack, or loss might be happening to you right now. Here's help for navigating the season when you least feel like it...

Day 1 Sample:
I know what it’s like when the holidays are hard – when life throws you for a loop and the last thing you feel like doing is celebrating. When I was 18 years old, my mom died of cancer two days before Christmas. When I was 37 years old, my first husband died on New Year’s Day. Both happened years ago, but I remember the struggle, and I have a heart for yours.

I know there are all sorts of things that can take away the joy of this season – loneliness, financial troubles, the pain of loss, the sharp contrast between your life and the Norman Rockwell portrayal all around you.

Can't wait to see you there!
https://bible.com/p/62394912/8da5d692347fdbac8193cfe98c08955a

Join our bible study group to stay connected:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/257254942332338/?

10/25/2023

Proclamation 5890

October 25, 1988

By the President of the United States of America

A Proclamation

Each year, approximately a million pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of the newborn child. National observance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, 1988, offers us the opportunity to increase our understanding of the great tragedy involved in the deaths of unborn and newborn babies. It also enables us to consider how, as individuals and communities, we can meet the needs of bereaved parents and family members and work to prevent causes of these problems.

Health care professionals recognize that trends of recent years, such as smaller family size and the postponement of childbearing, adds another dimension of poignance to the grief of parents who have lost infants. More than 700 local, national, and international support groups are supplying programs and strategies designed to help parents cope with their loss. Parents who have suffered their own losses, health care professionals, and specially trained hospital staff members are helping newly bereaved parents deal constructively with loss.

Compassionate Americans are also assisting women who suffer bereavement, guilt, and emotional and physical trauma that accompany post-abortion syndrome. We can and must do a much better job of encouraging adoption as an alternative to abortion; of helping the single parents who wish to raise their babies; and of offering friendship and temporal support to the courageous women and girls who give their children the gifts of life and loving adoptive parents. We can be truly grateful for the devotion and concern provided by all of these citizens, and we should offer them our cooperation and support as well.

The Congress, by Senate Joint Resolution 314, has designated the month of October 1988 as ``Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month'' and authorized and requested the President to issue a proclamation in observance of this month.

Now, Therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim the month of October 1988 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I call upon the people of the United States to observe this month with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.

In Witness Whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-fifth day of October, in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty-eight, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirteenth.

Ronald Reagan

10/15/2023

Today is a hard day of many mommy’s as we remember our little ones, who have been lost far too soon, during Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

Today I stand with you and many other women & families from all over the globe who have survived the unimaginable and heartbreakingly endured the loss of a pregnancy/baby/child.

WE REMEMBER THEM. At 7:00 pm (your local time) we will light a candle creating a wave of light for all those angels.

Please post the light for your angel to create a wave of light on our feed

07/10/2023

On Wednesday, July 11, 2023 let's start Waiting in Hope During Infertility by Kelly Ramsey & Jenn Hesse

• For women experiencing the journey of infertility, it can be a struggle to believe that God has our best interests at heart. In this devotional based on their book Waiting in Hope: 31 Reflections for Walking with God Through Infertility, authors Kelly Ramsey & Jenn Hesse give women actionable tools for keeping their eyes on the hope and joy only Jesus can provide.

Day 1 Sample:
Are you stuck in a cycle of trying to get pregnant but not wanting to face disappointment again and again? Infertility is devastating. It’s a pain you can’t ignore or erase. If we were sitting together, chatting over coffee or tea, I’d put my hand on yours and tell you I’m sorry. This journey is hard.

Can't wait to see you there!
https://bible.com/p/59433449/ef6c66d7d540265f141256fcd2609089

Join our bible study group to stay connected:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/257254942332338/?

05/12/2023

This Sunday will be hard for so many, those who have estranged relationships, lost mothers, loss children, longing to be mothers, and many more. Don't take away from your day, but if you can, remember them. Send a little message, a text, a card, a call, a visit but before you do ...

Heres a few thing not to say:

* Any sentence that starts with "At least..."
- "... they are in a better place"
- "... you still have other children"
- "... you can try again"
there is no at least, this is greif and not every situation has a silver lining.

*"God has a plan" although I agree He has a plan and I can't wait to see His face and see all the ways His will worked in my life, but in grief, it's not helpful. We are wrestling with God on this giant "why" question, and many have been and will continue to for a long time.

*"I know how you feel..." this makes their grief about you, instead of them. It often leaves those who are in this journey feeling like your trying to change the subject, thus making them feel like they can't talk about it. Also unless you have been through the same exact thing with the same relationship, you don't know how they feel.

*"You just need to..." When people are grieving, they don't have the capacity to bear additional expectations. The weight of grief is so heavy. They just can’t, nor should they have to. Please don’t add to their burden by telling them what you think they should or should not do.

*"They should have..." Please don’t blame their death on their deceased loved one, even if they played a significant role in their death. We all are vary protective of our loved ones, and these unnecessary comments fuel anger, and this sacred anger, rooted in love is a place you don't want to enter.

*"What can I do for you?" We are spiraling and giving any amount of thought to anything just adds to the weight that we are already carrying. If you really want to help be specific. We will talk more about this below.

Here are somethings that you can say...

* Offer to do a specific thing:
- Can I bring you dinner Tuesday? I know you love (insert an favorite food here). [If you don't know their favorite, pizza or tacos are always great go to's]
- I found some pictures I took with/of them, I'd love to go through them with you when your ready.
- I know this week/day is hard I was going to come mow your yard on Saturday. Is 9 a good time?

*Share a memory you have of their loved one. You can't make them sad by reminding them of their loved one. They haven't forgotten, so please don't apologize for opening the conversation for them to talk about someone they dearly love, even if they cry a little (or a whole lot).

* Send a simple message to send some love their way, feel free to use the ones below if you are struggling to come up with your own:
-You don't need to respond, just wanted you to know that I am remembering you on this difficult day.
-I know this day is hard. Please know I'm praying for you and l I have a magical power that makes tacos appear.
- I'm hear if you need me
- I'm sure you are really missing them today, if you want to talk I'd love to listen.

Yes this is an uncomfortable space, and yes this isn't easy. Yes tears will fall, but the most valuable gift a friend can give is to sit in the uncomfortable space and let those pent up tears finally fall.

04/09/2023

Rejoice for He is Risen!!!

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” Then they remembered his words.
Luke 24:1‭-‬8 NIV

03/30/2023

April fools is coming up soon so here’s a reminder:
- Don’t fake a pregnancy
- Don’t tell people you got in a car crash
- Don’t tell people you got a horrible diagnosis
- Don’t joke about anything harmful or hurtful
April fools is for filling oreos with sour cream and offering a jar a peanuts that contain confetti, not messing with peoples lives and feelings

11/19/2022

The Holidays are coming up fast and i know this can be a hard time of year for many of us. On Sunday, November 20, 2022, let's start When God Could’ve But He Didn’t. WARNING THIS PLAN WILL HAVE TRIGGERS

• Where do you starrt when you know God could’ve but He didn’t? This 5-day devotional anchored in God's word will help you find strength in the mindst of crushing difficult times.

Day 1 Sample:
Where to Start
My husband and I lost our first child hours after delivery. We wanted to go away somewhere far and just “watch the storm pass.” But the healing did not come from just watching the storm pass from afar, but by hitting it head-on in the quietness of our room, through honest conversations, in crying and praying together.

Can't wait to see you there!
https://bible.com/p/54935287/c5693f094dd304d4e5a56cbb57df5e99

Join our bible study group to stay connected:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/257254942332338/?