10/12/2024
Mercy and justice can be difficult for Christians to navigate. Consider a few thoughts about how Christians can be merciful to those who wrong us.
First, we must treat those who wrong us according to a higher standard than the world. Jesus observed that worldly people are friendly to their loved ones, but they tend to be harsh or indifferent to their enemies. There is nothing commendable about loving *only* your loved ones, for “even sinners love those who love them” (Lk. 6.32). However, if we give mercy to our enemies who wrong us or those we love, then our compassion will stand out all the more to the Lord (Mt. 5.43-48; cf. 1 Pt. 2.19-23).
But *when* must we extend mercy to those who wrong us?
In the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, the king gave mercy in response to the penitence of his servant — i.e., when he *pled* for it.
“I forgave you all that debt *because you begged me*” (Mt. 18.32).
Hence, mercy in that case was given when it was asked for. It was taken away when the petitioner proved himself unworthy of it.
But what about when the sinner does not ask for mercy? May Christians treat their enemies harshly — i.e., without mercy — as long as the wrongdoer remains impenitent?
Perhaps God’s example will help us with the answer, for God’s kindness is the standard by which our own actions should be measured (cf. Eph. 4.32).
God’s kindness to sinners — whether in mercy (forgoing punishment), forgiveness (removing guilt and anger), or in grace (unmerited favor) — has both an unconditional and a conditional aspect.
First, God unconditionally offers his mercy, forgiveness, and grace to everyone “apart from works” (cf. Rm. 4.6; Eph. 2.9; Rm. 11.5-6).
Paul noted that even “while we were still sinners” and “when we were enemies” (i.e., while we remained impenitent), “Christ died for us” (Rm. 5.8, 10). His desire to forego punishment (mercy), put away guilt and anger (forgiveness), and bring us back into his favor (grace) are each made freely available to the entire world (cf. Jn. 1.29; 1 Jn. 2.2; Rom. 3.24; 1 Tim. 4.10; Lk. 3.6; Tit. 2.11). God did not *wait for sinners to repent* before he extended his kindness to us (cf. Tit. 3.4-5). On the contrary, “we love Him *because He first loved us*” (1 Jn. 4.19), even though we do not deserve that love.
Second, however, only those who willingly accept his kindness with a compliant faith shall receive it (cf. Gal 2.21; Eph. 2.8; Rm. 5.1-2; Jn. 7.17; Rev. 22.17). In this sense, mercy, forgiveness, and grace are conditioned on the response of the sinner (for more, see my article online called, “Salvation: A Free Gift”).
Therefore, when someone sins against us, let us follow God’s example. If the sinner comes pleading for mercy, we ought to give it (cf. Lk. 17.3-4; Acts 8.22). However, mercy is not necessarily dependent on the sinner’s penitence.
If the sinner does not come to us first in penitence, we ought to be the bigger person. While it is right to “be angry” when someone does wrong — for justice has been thwarted! — we must not *hold on* to that anger (Eph. 4.26; Ps. 4.4; 37.8).
Instead, we must offer the sinner our mercy, forgiveness, and grace, regardless of whether the sinner asks for it or not. This means we must set aside harsh treatment (mercy), let go of the grudge and "go to" the offender to offer him our pardon (forgiveness; cf. Mt. 18.15ff), and extend our friendly hand of favor to him (grace). This is how God treats us. And it should be how *we* treat those who wrong us too.
But what if they should reject these kindly overtures? Consider the following:
First, no Christian can forgive anyone in an *absolute* sense — i.e., absolve sin in the courts of heaven. Only God can do that (cf. Dan. 9.9; Mk. 2.7).
Second, man *does* have the power to forgive people in a *relative* sense — i.e., by no longer holding the sin against them in our hearts.
Third, even in a relative sense, no Christian is obliged to regard someone who refuses to repent as guilt-free. It would not be righteous to do so, for God himself does not absolve the guilt of any sinner who refuses to repent (Lk. 13.3; Rm. 2.5; Rev. 18.5).
Therefore, if an impenitent wrongdoer has chosen to remain in his guilt, we have every right to regard that person as *in the wrong* until they make it right, for that is how God himself views the matter. As Jesus put it, if a sinner refuses to listen to the remonstrations of the righteous, then we should regard him “like a heathen and a tax collector” — i.e., outside the blessings of God’s covenant (Mt. 18.17; cf. Rm. 16.17; 1 Cor. 5.9; 2 Th. 3.6, 14; 2 Jn. 10).
Fourth, even though we can *withhold* forgiveness to an impenitent wrongdoer — in the sense of regarding them as still in the wrong — yet we must extend mercy, forgiveness, and grace to them in other ways. Consider:
(1) Mercy. We must not treat them harshly or punish them. Rather, we must give them our mercy. This is where God’s role and man’s role slightly diverge.
Unlike God, Christians are not permitted to “avenge” the wrongdoer — i.e., give them what they justly deserve. Instead, we must leave punishment to God. Paul instructs us to “give place to wrath” — i.e., step aside and let God administer punishment when and how it is due (cf. Rm. 12.19; 1 Th. 4.6).
(2) Forgiveness. Though we still regard them as guilty of wrong — i.e., unforgiven — we can still forgive them in two other senses.
First, we can “let go” (the meaning of forgiveness [aphesis] in the Greek Bible [Spicq, p. 238]) of resentment or anger over the wrong. Guilt may linger, but that doesn’t mean bitterness should linger too. Paul instructed:
“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice” (Eph. 4.31).
Second, we can also remain ready and willing to put away the sinner’s guilt when they finally do repent. This is the attitudinal posture God maintains as he waits for sinners to come to their senses:
“They refused to obey, And they were not mindful of Your wonders That You did among them. But they hardened their necks, And in their rebellion They appointed a leader To return to their bo***ge. But You are God, *Ready to pardon*, Gracious and merciful, Slow to anger, Abundant in kindness, And did not forsake them” (Neh. 9.17).
Hence, we can forgive an impenitent sinner by (1) letting go of hostile feelings toward them and (2) staying ready to change our attitude toward them as no longer in the wrong — i.e., with a posture that is *eager* to forgive.
(3) Grace. Finally, Christians must also be kindly disposed to the impenitent — i.e., be full of grace (favor). Instead of bitterness and grudging, we must “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4.32). In fact, one biblical word for “forgive” (charizomai) means to bestow a favor on someone or to show kindness to them — literally, to be gracious to them (Col. 3.13).
Hence, when others are rude, ungrateful, or just plain evil to us, mercy is willing to exercise a kindly forbearance toward them. It does not return insult for insult or injury for injury (cf. 1 Pt. 3.9).
It does not say: Let’s give them a taste of their own medicine; let’s make them suffer as they made us suffer; and, then — after they have felt our wrath and are made sorry for it — we’ll show them mercy. That was the attitude of the unmerciful servant. That is the way of the world.
Rather, the merciful seek to “do good to those who hate” them (Lk. 6.27). They “bless” and “pray for” the wellbeing of their enemies who mistreat them (Mt. 5.44; 1 Cor. 4.12-13). If punishment is justly due, the merciful will “give place to wrath,” leaving such in God’s hands (Rm. 12.19-21; cf. 1 Th. 4.6; Heb. 10.30). God will afflict them in his own time and way (cf. Deut. 32.35).
In short, mercy sets punishment aside, both when the sinner asks for mercy and when he does not. It makes every effort to heal and rescue those enslaved by sin with all kindness and charity. And if the sinner remains impenitent, proves himself unworthy of mercy, and punishment is due, then the merciful will not inflict it but will simply leave such to the just providence of God.
—Aaron Purvis
(This is an excerpt from my latest article, "Mercy To The Merciful—Mt. 5.7." Visit Let Us Reason Online for more.)
