06/22/2022
Concepts of a marriage
Marriage is a lifetime commitment. This commitment is often witness and celebrated with family and friends. To come to a point in your life to want to make this commitment begins simple by a male and a female meeting, age is irrelevant, a level of maturity is important. Over time through dating and then courting – a process of discovery, the couple will grow to know each other. They will come to understand the meaning of commitment to one another. This growth process develops the understanding of each other’s values, what is important to each, behavior patterns, the way they reason or think through situations. During this stage of the relationship the couple is becoming aware of their compatibilities. How compatible or complimentary they are with each other. As we grow to understand each other, you may discover values that may conflict, priorities that contradict. In discovering these contradictions, the couple may decide to earnestly work through them reconciling the differences. Or they may decide to end the arrangement to seek someone else. This discovery process may be difficult or even discouraging. But if it is used as a learning experience, it will add to your wisdom.
Marriage should never be taken lightly. It is a continuous work in progress that needs to be based on a solid foundation. This foundation is made up of four core precepts: faith, mercy, judgment, and love. These four precepts are vital in building any worthwhile relationship.
Faith, though the future is not predictable, but, based on our experiences, if we continue to move in a particular direction in life, in a relationship, you can come to understand the probable outcome. Due to faith, we will be able to adjust our path to move into a better future. As we continue to learn from our experiences and continue to adjust our paths, our lives, our relationship continues to develop and grow stronger to a brighter future.
Mercy does not judge one another. It listens to what is being said, it thinks on what was said before formulating any answers. Seek to understand before being understood. Look for what is good, look for what is virtuous, what is kind and gentle. Be slow to anger and slow to answer, always seek the truth.
Judgment is based on the truth, the ability to discern the issues, listen to all sides of the story without jumping to conclusions, seeks reliable council, and doesn’t desire conversation or actions designed to breakdown a relationship.
Love is the reason why we do all things. The emotions, the attractions, the desires are not love, though they are components. Love is not selfish; it seeks what is good for the whole. Love is not harsh, instead its gentle, it supports, it doesn’t break apart, it is not self-right, but humble. Love wants to learn, it is not arrogant, it doesn’t mock or boast, but is kind. Love doesn’t steal or take it is always charitable.
These core precepts: faith, mercy, judgment, and love, work together within each of us. The more we exercise these precepts within ourselves, the more we express them outwardly towards others the greater the relationships we will have. The stronger our character becomes. The more these precepts grow, multiply, within each of us, the stronger the marriage will become.
When a man and woman make a choice to be united in marriage, a decision has been made to leave your past life and forge a new path together. This unity is the center of your new existence for you have created a family. Your marriage becomes the most important relationship on earth. Only the wife and the husband have the power to succeed in their life pledge to one another. Your choices, be it daily, monthly or moment to moment will bind or erode your marriage.
To succeed in a relationship and the success of marriage, grow in these core precepts, learn to love one another. To love one another, we must learn to love God, since God is the creator of love – all good things. Then we will be able to learn to love one another as husband and wife. To love one another above all other relationships. By loving one another as God loves us our marriage will stand up against the tides of life. You will then learn to love your children second only to yourselves as they will be the greatest gift and greatest responsibility you will have. Your parents, extended family and friends as they too grow these precepts will continue to lovingly support your union together. They are there to nurture this marriage as it is the most important bond between the man and woman
For a man and a woman to develop and grow together in marriage; they must desire to learn to understand one another before being understood, take care of each other first before taking care of others. And, within each other, look for what is good, what is kind, what is gentle, what is honest, what is pure, what is virtuous with the motive of love, then God’s peace shall be with you.
