Watching The Road

10/26/2024

I just read this and had to share .

God Speaks: “ I see the desperate need for your children. I know exactly where they are, what they are involved in, and how bound they are by the enemy. Your worry and concern is also fully known by me. I hear your cries to intervene, to do something, to get their attention. Even the strongest grip of the evil one is no match for Me. I put in place what is needed to get their attention. I break deception, entanglements, and strongholds at work this moment for your loved ones. Prayer, fasting, and surrendering to the way I work is necessary and rewarded. You know who you are and that these words are for you. Godly people who are skilled in being used by My Spirit and bold enough to go into the territory of the enemy are put in their paths to take back what Satan has claimed. War is being fought for your precious children. I remind you that there is no greater power than what I possess and demonstrate. I am doing on your behalf. I love those children too.”

08/27/2024

Don’t stop praying!🙏🙏

08/14/2024

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=8r0eA49MZ0w&si=hbEfp8xTfz_c51DB

Watch the official music video and listen to my song "Don't Stop Praying" here: https://matthewwest.lnk.to/DSPID Connect with me! Newsletter: https://matthe...

08/14/2024

It's August 2024. Wow where did the time go? Last I posted was 2022. I wish I was posting that my son is stable and Jesus has gotten a hold of his life and all is well. Not so. Jesus is still Lord but my son is still running away from leading a stable life. I get reports here and there from my older son whose friends text him about David and where he was spotted or if he is in jail etc.
Frankly I would rather not know the trouble he gets himself in. All it does is opens wounds and hurts for days.
I was watching my grandkids (ages 6, 9, ) at Knoebels Amusement park diving off the diving board and swimming in the pool this past month. I almost lost it while sitting there. I was re-living when I took my son there as a child and how he loved doing the very same thing. Broke my heart in two. I could actually see him in my mind playing and diving and laughing as a kid.
Then comes the why's? What happened to that little boy that led him to such a life of lies, stealing, etc.?
Before I go that road I have to stop my thoughts or I will be full of guilt and anger and condemnation for myself.
TRUTH: He made the choices he made all on his own
TRUTH: God has forgiven and forgotten any and all my past mistakes and will do the same for David when he asks.
TRUTH: Jesus has never given up on me and He won't give up on David.
TRUH: My God is a God of restoration, beauty for ashes, unconditional love and miracles.
and so much more.

Michael W. Smith has a song: Don't Stop Praying out now and it is perfect for when I forget that there is power in prayer. God never forgets a prayer and He will answer and restore life to my son one day.

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07/30/2023

10/01/2022

Wow, it has been over a year since I posted.
2022
We went from parole to halfway house sentence of 3 month. I was so hopeful. but then a month into it, he runs. I was unaware at the time where he ran to, although after an amount of time he did contact me with some story of verbal abuse which meant he had to leave. I didn't believe him although I wanted to but still told him that it was a foolish choice since he only had to stay there 3 months then he would be FREE! END OF SENTENCE!

I had no idea where he was, of course I worried even when I wasn't aware I was worrying, it was still a huge burden on me. My heart broken again. I knew that God knew where he was and that my God never lets go of us no matter what we choose to do. If I didn't have faith in God I think I would have lost it and crawled into a hole.

I kept in touch with his girlfriend who moved to TN to "get her life together" always asking if she had heard from him. To my knowledge she was working and getting her life on track, not doing drugs and renting a nice house with a huge yard. She asked me for money for her and my grand daughter were out of food until her next paycheck. In my spirit I knew sending money was a bad idea, and ordered food at Walmart for her to pick up. I'm learning I thought, yay me. I then found out that he had been living with her the whole time and that he was there when I ordered the food at walmart! She had been lying to me the whole time, pretending to be worried about him , asking if I heard from him. Wow

After maybe 6-8 months, my son was found and returned to jail. He was sentenced now to 18 months- from 3 months left at the halfway house now increased back to jail for 18 months. I just could not understand why he chose to do this, but this time I didn't send any help to him at all. Letters and eventually email was as far as I would go. When he could make a free call once in awhile I would accept but hearing his voice would kill me and I would cry for hours. No one in my family wanted to acknowledge him so I cried alone. I understood their anger, but I still could use a hug- but none came.

Towards the end of his sentence this time, he really did seem to have changed from his "poor me" attitude to a more mature way of thinking. I began to gain hope that God was really getting through to him and he was going to build a stable life for him and his daughter.

I didn't realize at the time that he had been corresponding with a friend from my church who was now his enabler. His sweet talk and the hope of a relationship with him got her to trust him, help him and I'm sure put money on his books.

Fast forward, he is now again released on parole to a halfway house. If he stays there and finishes his time there, he is a free man.
Amazing enough, he stayed. When he got out this friend who was taking care of his "wants" let him stay with her and found him a job. A REAL JOB_ON THE BOOKS! I was so proud of him! People said they saw a light in my eyes as the burden I had carried for so long was removed. I did feel the weight of it all fall off. I didn't realize it was such a heavy burden until it was gone. He stuck with it about 3 months. Now he is in the wind again.

I look back and see the manipulation he did to my mind leading up to his leaving the free roof over his head and the income. He started lying and building up drama at the work, then with the friend, then it came to he was going camping and fishing for a weekend with a friend. Of course, he wasn't doing that, he was leaving what he had been blessed to have been given through no effort of his own to help him get stable. I believe he is now homeless and on drugs again.

I have asked him to lose my number. Should such a thing be done by any mother? I know my mom would never do such a thing to me. I now not only carry guilt for my decision to cut off contact but now the worry of where he is, how is he surviving, will he ever make the good choices for his life.

I wonder how I will ever let this go and be free. I bring it to Jesus, then pick it up again. I am praying that God will pry this out of my hands in any way He sees fit. Not a day goes by that I don't remember I have lost him again.

But God............always has the last say and He always wins.

06/08/2021

It's been awhile I know since I touched base here. My prodigal went into hiding end of 2020 and I have just heard he has resurfaced.
He is asking for money and getting angry if it is not given to him so I am afraid he hasn't changed much. At least I know he is still alive.
I love him with my whole heart and am still praying for God to get him stable and lead a life of integrity. I can't lose hope nor the vision that God gave me so long ago.
I pray God is encouraging you as you watch that road for your prodigal to return to your arms. Don't despair, He has His eye on them and will never let them go.

02/06/2021

01/26/2021

Another long stretch since I posted. Like everyone else, 2020 was a hard year to get through. 2021 a new year, new journey. I am still mourning the loss of my son. No, he's not dead but just like the prodigal in the Bible, in a sense he is. The pain is great not knowing where he is or if he is making a better life for himself. I pray everyday that he is following the law and not choosing his old ways of living. He stated many times that the system held him down and kept him on the merry go round of in and out of jail. To a point, I did see that. He couldn't get a decent job. The jobs he did get , he was promised a cash pay, off the books, but then didn't get paid- what could he do? He had to accept he got ripped off. Just one example. So I get it. This time was different, though. He had a job lined up, a place to stay if he followed the rules after getting out of half way house, a ride to and from work. These things were never in place for him before. But ............. he ran.
So I am posting today just to touch base with those who care, those who also are hurting for a person who is making destructive choices for their life. There is hope for them. I know that God loves the prodigal and more than me, He wants my son to return to Him.
Do you have someone who needs to return to God or needs to come for the first time to God for help in overcoming the chains that wrap around their feet and trip them up? Is there someone , a neighbor, relative, friend, friend of a friend that is a prodigal?
If you feel led to, post your story here. And if you are reading this, pray for anyone who is a prodigal. God hears our prayers and He does answer in His way and time. "Let us hold fast the confession of our Hope, for He who promised is faithful" Hebrews 10:23

Pass this on to anyone you feel would benefit from this page

10/30/2020

Such an important message- please take the time to listen to it

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