04/07/2020
I'm sharing a personal story. I have spent this morning crying and asking God to help me get through my latest problem. I am heading to Dallas today to receive my second BCG treatment. The doctor said that it was promising and it should slow the progression of my bladder cancer. There is also a trial which I will be able to participate in 6-12 months. My problem is that I lost some of my peace which I had taken for granted. I was okay with many things. I could handle the treatments, the travel, the everyday trials God gave me. I decided very simply that I missed some old friends. I looked for them on the internet, contacted them, and waited. I received no response. Weeks had gone by and I began to feel neglected. Was our friendship that insignificant? It was small but it grew. I had doubt enter my mind. I thought why can't I go back to that time when it seemed easier but my friends didn't respond. It was heartbreaking. It took until this morning when I realized how far I had strayed. I let a simple desire creep into my life. David was swayed by Satan to take census and paid dearly for it (2 Samuel 24). I spent time looking up old friends who are mostly non Christian and waiting on them. Satan trampled on my peace for the past few weeks. I am tired of it.
" I will stand upon my watch, and set me upon the tower, and will watch to see what he will say unto me, and what I shall answer when I am reproved." Habakkuk 2:1
This is one my favorites. I know I have a long road ahead of me. I know without a doubt God was waiting for me. It is an awesome day.