Revruth.com

12/30/2022

Serafine, too bad this isn't on zoom.

10/01/2022

I can't believe how many of these I've missed because I was watching something else.

10/20/2020

Getting married during the pandemic?
Yes, it's possible!
Rev. Ruth is available for small, outdoor,
appropriately spaced Weddings.

05/12/2019

What is the best place to get married? Part 2.
I hear this question a lot ... what is the best place to get married?

Those of you who have already thought this through realize that there is no one best place. There are thousands, even millions of best places.

Before you decide where to get married, the first question to ask is Who do you want to be present when you say your marriage vows?

Close family? Extended family? Close friends? The entire community? Work colleagues? Etc.

Perhaps you don't need a bunch of witnesses for your ceremony but you want a lot of people to celebrate with you after the ceremony. In that case, the wedding and the reception can be held in different places and on different days, if you wish.

Once you have decided who to invite to your ceremony, you can pick a likely place. Is everyone you desire to be present responsible for getting to the wedding? In that case, your choices are limited to places these people can reasonably travel to. For example, you may visualize your wedding on a sandy beach, but is one person's wheelchair able to drive across that beach? Are you going to pay for everyone's transportation to the wedding or are everyone financially situated to pay their own way? In that case, your choices are expanded. Maybe Venice, Hawaii, and Antarctica are in the ball park.

I have conducted beautiful weddings in the red rock canyons of southern Utah, in California redwood groves, historic sites, and on picturesque beaches. Equally beautiful weddings in hotels, restaurants, hot tubs, and back yards. Many places are available for free; others cost hundreds and thousands of dollars.

There is no end to beautiful places on this Mother Earth of ours. You get to choose which place works for you and your loved ones.

If you have further questions or comments, please feel free to write here.

04/25/2019

Dear Friends, those I already know, and those I may meet in the future ...

Where is the best place to get married? is a question often asked by people who are considering planning a wedding.

I have some great options to consider to answer this question, but not today.

Today I want to share some information from Michelle Singletary, a financial expert, about places you may not want to get married, the place where everyone attending has to buy airplane tickets and book hotel rooms and rental cars, etc. -- in other words a destination wedding.

Now I love conducting destination weddings as an officiant. These weddings, whether on a beautiful beach or redwood grove, are certainly wonderful. So don't let me discourage you if your heart is set on someplace exotic.

I simply want to offer you some sobering advice from an expert:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/04/25/stop-with-destination-weddings/?utm_term=.6c926640325c.

Next time I will actually answer the original question: What is the best place to get married?

Many blessings to you and your beloveds, Rev. Ruth

Yes, it's your 'big' day. But it's our money and vacation time.

08/22/2018

Are you getting married in the next year? Congratulations!

I've conducted 48 weddings in Utah and California. Expensive weddings, affordable weddings, adventurous weddings, and tame weddings. All were wonderful.

You and your partner can plan your wedding the way you want it. Here are some ideas ...

No matter what the wedding looks like, it takes courage to plan the kind you want.

11/16/2017

Are you planning on getting married before the end of 2017? I'm here for you!

10/23/2017

Emma and Phil got married August 5, 2017.

08/10/2017

I had the privilege of conducting a wedding on August 5 in a grove of redwoods in Sonoma County. The bride and groom live in the UK, and they love nature, including redwood trees. This couple, Emma and Phil, and all their family and friends were so gracious and friendly. I'm so happy to have provided them the ceremony they wanted.

05/25/2017

I'm comforted by these words from Jeff Foster from a year ago:

You don't need answers today. Bless your questions today, as you walk, sit, stand, go about the business of your day.
You don't need to feel 'better' today. What would happen if you gave yourself full permission today to feel confused, frightened, full of doubt?
You don't need to understand today. Can't you see, even your non-understanding is beautiful, even your not knowing is sacred, held in the light of presence?
You don't even need to be happy today. Take away the awful pressure to feel happy, for happiness is not a destination, or the result of any kind of effort.
Remember this deeper happiness, in which even your sorrow has a home, the happiness that embraces you as you are, the happiness that is love itself...
With love from yourself, as always,
Jeff ###

04/16/2017

A dear friend sent me the poetry of Unfolding Light (Steve Garnaas-Holmes) at https://www.unfoldinglight.net/ . Here is today's reflection, which to me is a token of the Mystery of It All:

CHrist is risen

Christ, you have occupied our humanity
more deeply than we,
bearing our sin and sorrow,
receiving our shame, our despair.
You, the Human One,
have borne our whole burden,
our separateness, our death.
You poured yourself out
into us until there was nothing left but God.
When we have poured ourselves into you
until there is nothing in us but you,
in the darkness of the tomb,
you who are life and light
unfold and break even the bonds of death itself
and there is only light and life,
and everything is changed.

Death is weak.
A door easily swung open.
Love is our grave and our womb,
and the flowing of our lives,
always out of ourselves into you.

Christ has borne the love of God
even into hell,
and love, as always, has prevailed.
Christ is risen.
Christ is risen indeed.

Daily Reflections by Steve Garnaas-Holmes

02/07/2017

Are you ready to making it legal? You already have a deeply loving relationship. You may consider yourselves already married. There are both advantages and disadvantages to make it legal. If you've carefully considered and decided this is the way you choose to commit to each other, I am ready to assist you, for I am an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church, as well as an officiant who is steeped in various traditions.

What about the cost? you ask.

I just read in Charlie Swanson's article in the Bohemian, where he cited these stats:
Couples spent an average of $35,543 in Sonoma county and $37,504 in Napa county in 2015.

How does this huge expense break down?

Getting the license only costs $82 in Sonoma county and $83 in Napa county. Getting certified copies of the license, which you will probably need, costs an extra $15 each.

The cheapest way to have a ceremony may be to schedule an appointment with a county Deputy Marriage Commissioner at the same place you get the license. This only costs $56 in Sonoma County. See http://sonomacounty.ca.gov/CRA/Clerk-Recorder/Marriage-License/ for all the details. Each county is slightly different and has different fees. You do not have to get married in the same California county where you get the license.

You may want a friend or relative to conduct the ceremony. This person needs to register with the county as a Deputy Marriage Commissioner for a Day and pay a fee.

If you hire a rabbi, minister, imam, priest, etc. or a nonreligious officiant, judge, or elected official to officiate at your ceremony, this will typically cost more. Usually, those in great demand charge more or may charge more for a wedding that costs $37,000 to put on versus one that costs $500.

Personally, I've conducted some weddings for friends as my present to them. I've done weddings for a couple where one of them is about to be sent to a war zone and may not come back, and the wedding was held near a picnic table or on the beach with a potluck afterwards. I've also done weddings where the couple seemed to have more money to spend on their wedding than I did on my house!

I try to work with a couple to come up with a fee for the ceremony that seems fair to all of us. I typically put in about 10 hours meeting with the couple beforehand, preparing the ceremony to suit the couple, conducting the ceremony, and staying afterwards to make sure the license and other forms are signed correctly. Then I am responsible to mail it back to the county clerk. I've received as little as $100 and as much as $500, plus travel expenses. I've been happy with all these arrangements. I've conducted ceremonies in Utah and California. I do not meet the requirements to conduct ceremonies in all states.

My main claim to fame is helping couples design the wedding exactly to suit them, not me or anyone else. It may include religious and spiritual symbols, rituals, songs, and prayers, and it may not include any of these. I have many suggestions to help each couple get what they want on their wedding day!