08/24/2026
Tom’s2Cents – Great Expectations
Does this ever happen to you? Miss Rhonda will say to me. I’ve found this new TV show. I love it, and I know you will too. I want us to watch it together. So, we watch it together, and then she’ll turn and say, “Well, what did you think?” Now I have to say right here, guys, this just might be a critical moment in your marriage. These are the times when I wish marriage came with a road sign that pops up and says, “Caution! Danger ahead! What you say next could ruin your evening.” Rhonda and I have been married for 41 years, and still some lessons elude me. So, when she asks that question, and I don’t care for the show, I might say something like, “It’s OK, not quite what I expected, but it’s watchable.” I can assure you that that’s not the response she was expecting, or at least hoping to hear. That usually means the rest of our evening is spent in uneasy silence because the results did not meet expectations.
Listen, life is filled with unmet expectations, often because they're unrealistic to begin with. One of the first things I try to communicate to any couple in premarital counseling is that conflict and disagreements are inevitable in a marriage. The most loving couples have disagreements, and some are heated.
I once attended a seminar with one of the most respected leaders in our brotherhood where he talked about unmet expectations. Using his own marriage as an example, he talked about how, when he was first married, he and his wife had a very major disagreement - their first big fight, really. He said that after their first week living together as husband and wife, he noticed that the trash in the back room was overflowing and needed to be emptied. He wondered why his wife was not taking care of that, so he kindly reminded her that it needed to be done. She did not take it well and told him that in her family, the women did not take out the trash. On the other hand, in his family, the wife always took out the trash. As a result, they had unmet expectations, hard feelings, and a smelly house until they resolved the situation and readjusted their expectations.
Unrealistic expectations can be dangerous for relationships, but they can also be dangerous to the Christian life. Some people anticipate that when they give their lives to Christ, all of their problems will be eliminated. When that doesn’t happen, they get discouraged and wonder what they are doing wrong or even if God is mad at them.
Growing up, we sang the following Bill Gaither chorus at camp: “I found happiness, I found peace of mind, I found a joy of living, perfect love sublime . . . I found free contentment, happy living in accord . . . I found happiness ALL the time, wonderful peace of mind, since I found the Lord.” Think about that last line for a moment. How many of you can say that this is true of your life in Christ? Happiness, ALL the time?
Now, it’s true that Christ does bring peace, joy, harmony, and happiness, but if we aren’t honest about the very real struggles of life, even in Christ, we might present a false picture and disillusion those who don’t find a Pollyanna faith to be true.
When God converted Saul of Tarsus and appointed him as an apostle named Paul, He said, “This is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles . . . I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.” If that was true of him, it will almost certainly be true of us, and we should be prepared for what we can expect in our Christian Walk.
So, what can you expect from life in Christ? Paul gives us some insight in 2 Cor. 12. If we look closely, we discover that in Christ, there are...
Moments of Great Spiritual Joy. We call these mountaintop experiences, and almost every Christian has had one. Maybe at your baptism you felt unbeatable and filled with indescribable joy. You came up out of the water, fist pumping, and exclaimed to the world and to Satan, “Bring it on!” Paul said in 2 Cor. 12 that he had “visions and revelations of the Lord,” specifically one that took him up to a third heaven (where I believe he completed his training with Christ to be qualified as an apostle), and that they filled him with “Inexpressible joy.”
Maybe you haven’t had visions and revelations, but maybe you attended camp as a kid and didn’t want to leave because the experience was so powerful. Maybe you’ve prayed through a season of difficulty, and God answered in a powerful way. Those are experiences in the Christian’s life that bring great joy!
Dutch theologian Henri Nouwen found his mountaintop sitting in front of a painting by Rembrandt called The Return of the Prodigal. In his book of the same name, he describes being enraptured and sitting for two straight weeks admiring it. I’ve seen a copy of the painting. It’s lovely, but I admit, I don’t quite get it.
The truth is that God can use many things in our lives to bring us into closer connection with Him, and it’s not the same for everyone. Here’s another truth. Spiritual highs are rare experiences. We can’t expect them all the time. You can’t minister in the valley if you stay on the mountain.
Another truth found in 2 Cor. 12 is that Hard Times Happen to Everyone (Christian’s included). Paul says, “Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.” Paul went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. We could simply call these normal human difficulties because we all have them. It doesn’t matter how spiritual you are; you will experience the struggles of life. God doesn’t promise a perfect marriage. We are not told that our kids will always be beautiful, smart, and adoring. We are not promised perfect health or freedom from pain. In fact, Jesus said, “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Matt. 5:45) and also, “In this world you will have trouble.” (Jn 16:33).
Listen! We can best be about the business of heaven when we realize that as long as we are in the flesh, there will be troubles. If you expect your life, in Christ, to be trouble-free all the time, you will be disappointed because those expectations will not be met. That’s why we are told to count the cost and build our lives on a firm foundation in Luke 14, because rains will come and winds will blow.
Finally, Paul reminds us that in all situations, We Can Rely on the All-Sufficient Grace of God, found in Jesus' work on the cross. Paul says he prayed three times (three seasons of prayer) that God would remove his thorn, but God’s reply was not what he hoped for. Instead, God said, “My grace is sufficient for you.”
Sometimes, like every good parent, God says no. But more importantly, he says, “Instead, I’m going to give you something better: grace for the moment.” Warren Wiersbe puts it this way: “God didn’t give any explanation; he just gave a promise . . . God often meets our needs not by eliminating the problem but by transforming the person."
Now that’s better! Though I’m not promised an easy life in Christ, I am promised that through the difficulties of life God is making and molding me into the person who can live with Him for all eternity. If truth be told, it will be a lot easier if we stop fighting God on this and rest in His all-sufficient grace.
I’m trying. How about you?
Grace and Peace,
Preacher Tom
“Christ is my firm foundation, the rock on which I stand. When everything around me is shaken, I've never been more glad that I put my faith in Jesus, 'Cause He's never let me down. He's faithful through generations. So why would He fail now? He won't!”
- Firm Foundation (Lyrics)
