05/12/2023
SHALOM. A REPOST FROM 2018. MY MOTHER'S DAY TRIBUTE TO A QUEEN, MY MOM, CO-PASTOR AND BEST FRIEND, PASTOR ROBIN M. JONES. AS RELEVANT TODAY AS THEN. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO MOMS EVERYWHERE. RABBI
Dear Mom:
Well here we are. Another year. Another Mother's day without you here. As usual, I went to sit with you a while at your resting place. Like always, to bring you up to speed on everything going on in this world you left behind. I still can't bring myself to bring you flowers, mainly because you always said to "give you your flowers while you lived, because you couldn't see the beauty at the grave". So I don't bring any, because I would like to think that I gave you all the flowers time and opportunity allowed me to give while you were here. And I would like to think that heaven gave you a Rose Garden the day you walked through the gates, for all the flowers you were never given on Earth. You always said "worse than being talked about when you are gone, is being forgotten while you're still here." Of course I understand that truth, probably better than most. Another reason I don't bring flowers, is because for me it makes things so final. Seems strange I guess, but some part of me still wants to believe that it isn't,,,final. That still keeps thinking that one day I'll hear that familiar rap on the door, and I'll open it to see you standing there, with that million-dollar smile, saying "Ooh, I'm tired! It's hot out there. Where's the coffee?" I'd say, "It's brewing." We would sit down and discuss matters at hand, politics, culture, history, and the latest current events. Then we'd talk about what we wanted for the future, our goals for the ministry and how we could achieve it. And our favorite subject, the children and grandchildren and what we wanted for their future. The dreams and hopes that we had for them, and what we hoped they would one day achieve. Our legacy. We would talk about all of the things that we'd gone through trying to keep them safe and to protect them from the evils of this world. And the perils lurking around every corner. We would talk about all of our experiences just in trying to do God's will. Laughing at some, and crying at others. You would look at me with that far away look, and give me encouragement that I would one day get to use all the gifts God had given me, and say you hoped to be here to see me achieve it. Something in your voice I always ignored, said you knew you wouldn't be. Yet, we were always planning for the next mission. Always finding hope in the darkness, a blessing in the storm, light at the end of the tunnel that wasn't a train. Lol. And though I keep listening, the knock never comes. Some part of me realizes it, though I don't acknowledge it, that it will never come again on this side. So instead of a knock, I will have to wait for the sound of The Trumpet blowing in Zion. In the unbelievable 17 years that you have been gone, I won't pretend it hasn't been hard. There are times I wanted to give up. But then I'd hear your voice urging me onward, "Don't even think about quitting. You are strongest when you feel weakest. You are greatest when you feel you are least. Never stop moving forward. Take the road less traveled. And I will meet you on the other side. I will be there....always." Hardest when people don't realize there was another side to our relationship. You were always The Hammer, Eagle Eye, The Tower of Strength, Pastor Robin M. Jones. But in those quiet times, when we were alone, and the world shut out, it was you and me. You were just my mom. The lady I miss today. Happy Mother's Day Mom. Love you.