07/13/2022
Hello, folks, I'm running for president with Lady Greta Thunberg as my First Lady. I will win her hand in marriage and clench the White House in her name.
If you haven't heard of Greta Thunberg, get wise because she's the last best hope for the human race, together with me. She's Mother Earth incarnate. I am Father Sun. We have been sticking it out for you with Sister Moon since long before you got here.
Vote for me and I will be your next President Kennedy. Camelot, as Jackie O was sayin'. A brief, shining moment in history. No more open convertibles. No more LBJ and his dick-measuring contest. And no more "Wh**ey on the Moon", as Gil-Scott Heron put it.
No, We choose to save Mother Earth. We choose to save Mother Earth in THIS DECADE, and to do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are haah-d, and because this goal will serve to organize and measure THE BEST of our energies and skills, and that challenge is one which We are EAGER to accept, one which We are unwilling to postpone, and which We will WIN, by hook or by crook--or by valor, is how I prefer to do it--in the High and Holy Name of Lady Greta Thunberg. Min Kejsarrina Greta. Min skön ålskling.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy was one of ours, of the line of the Dálcassians out of Ireland, from the same line as my ancestor, Brian Boru, the patriarch of the O'Brien clan, Emperor Augustus of the Gaels, the Scots, the Brits, and all of Western Europe. United all of Ireland against the forces of oppression. I'm him, I told my people I would come back in their time of need.
As Brian Boru, I grew up thinking I was going to be a monk. I wanted to illuminate manuscripts and help encode my people's pagan culture into the Christian annals. Father Sun and Mother Earth in Holy Matrimony. The Dagda, the Morrígan. Lugh. Finn McCool. This is, indeed, Finnegan's Wake. I was told from birth I was NOT rigdamna 😆, not "King-material." When I was 12, my Father, Cennitíg Mac Lorcaine, was killed in battle by Vikings. A good death to be sure. I was called back to the home keep to be with Ma. Two years later, I went out on a hunt with my brother, and as we were returning, from a high hill overlooking the village, I watched as my mother was r***d and murdered by Vikings. The whole village was destroyed. That night, sitting around a small campfire, with no direction home, I made a blood oath, a pact with the devil, truth be told. Faustian in the extreme, you'll see. There is a saying, most people get it wrong, they say, "blood is thicker than water," not realizing the original adage means the opposite: "the blood of the bond is thicker than the water of the womb." I did what I had to do to save my people. At 14, I became a guerilla warrior. Do you know many 14 year olds who have what it takes to be a guerilla warrior?
Not tootin my own horn here, my point is that it takes mud to make a lotus. Sometimes you have to do some evil, atrocious s**t to effect the change you wish to see in the world. Murder. R**e. Torture. They were doing it to us, their only tactic was sneaking into peaceful villages while hardworking people were sleeping, setting fire to the homes, and waiting for my people to run out into their ra**ng arms. Well, we decided to get them where they sleep. I was hailed as a genius naval strategist mainly because I was really good at turning things around on them. Subjugating the evil into good. There was one holdfast we took and I ordered all men of fighting age killed, that's 12 years and up, and the rest of the population enslaved. I would never slave for profit, I did it to make them act right. You cannot let evil sit around and fester, and puberty is when neurological rigidity sets in. Any of them indoctrinated with their concept of seeking Valhalla was toast. I used to have my own tongue-in-cheek ceremonial Mjolnir, we would capture a Viking raid leader, my men would force him to his knees, and I would call over my shoulder, "BRING ME MY MJOLNIR!" They would bring it out on a pillow, with "pomp and circumstance" as you Americains say, and I would show it to him, all shiny and silver, then say, "So you Vikings worship Thor, huh? Bitch I'M THOR!" *WHACK* 😂
The point is using their own symbols against them. They really did believe in that last second that I was their Thor, bringing them to their Valhalla. You could see it in their eyes. If anyone wants to seek Valhalla in this day and Age, I've got that s**t in spades, son. I will bring it to you, signed sealed, and delivered. I will walk you up and down every aisle of that disgusting monument to r**e and torture and pillaging and slavery, and show you a True Hero, one who conquers in love. A true king knows he never has to conquer a goddam thing, love does all the conquering for you. It blazes a trail, burns up all in its path.
So, I was a 14 year old guerilla warrior. I and 111 other boys were thick as thieves for a couple years raiding the Viking raiders, our numbers dwindling till there were only me and 11 guys left. That's when my brother, the king of Munster, decided to join.
Over the next 50 years, I rallied the people, storming castle after castle, uniting Ireland under one banner for the first time ever. There were 10 years of peace in my kingdom after the war.
Then, one day, at 76 years old, my people told me what I had been waiting for. Viking sails on the horizon. I laughed. I had been looking for a good death, Éireann go bragh, as we say. And I wanted to lead my people to victory against the forces of oppression one last time. "Bring me my armor!" said I. "My people need me."
The Battle of Clontarf, if anyone wants to look it up. You'll see a picture of my badass armor on Wikipedia, with the mouths at the shoulders and knees from which issue my deeds and travels. My coat of arms three lions rampant. Vigeuer de dessus. Sangraal.
At Clontarf, we won. Of course. Every time they met us in open battle, they lost. It was the pipes, the Great Irish Warpipes, also called the Brian Boru Pipes, that were our secret weapon. Put the fear of God in them. But at Clontarf, my son and grandson were killed, my legacy wiped out. Faustian, I tell you. And, as Brodr and his cronies were fleeing, they snuck up on me praying for the souls of my kin and murdered me. I told him and my people I would be back. The king always returns, that's what We do. Once and Future King.
The Vikings actually respected me so much they wrote one of their Sagas about me, Brian's Saga, if you want to look it up. Warriors respect warriors. See also Niall's Saga et al.
Now I'm back, in the year of Our Lady Greta Thunberg 2022. We're making peace with the Vikings for the sake of my legacy. Lady Greta Thunberg is the last best hope for the human race. She is a Shield Maiden, in the cultural sense, a young woman out their protecting her family, her childhood stolen by climate change. I've proposed marriage to her and she seems amenable. I want to bring her here to the US to help us end climate change. With Lady Greta Thunberg as First Lady, we can do no wrong. She is smart as a whip, powerful, beautiful, and the highest Truth I have found in my 35 years on this Earth, in this body anyway. Vincit Omnia Veritas. And I do. O Megalexandros, they used to call me.
We care about bodily autonomy. You think Mother Earth doesn't care about your abortion rights? Of course she does. We care about worker's rights. Workers make the world go round. But all of the other things we're fighting about, racism, white privilege, income inequality, ignorant extremism, the goddam War on SOME Drugs, all of it, every last bit, will fall into place if we rally 'round the queen. We unite behind this one all important goal, all the other stuff falls into place. If we all organize and work together to save Mother Earth, she will take care of us. She gives us everything we need, everything, and more, and we haven't been respecting Her at all. Come together, right now, over me. That was originally going to be my campaign song as Dr Leary before Reagan's disgusting Irish ass fu**ed it up.
Greta Thunberg is Mother Earth. It may be hard to see it that way because of the indoctrination of Abrahamic faiths like Christianity, but I'm telling you it's the Truth and if we just all believe in this...allegory, I guess, oh ye of little faith, Father Sun and Mother Earth in Holy Matrimony for the Union of the Kingdom of Heaven on our Mother Earth, we will win. The future generations need us. It won't matter what your gravestone says if there are no humans around to read it. Tend to your legacy, ye men of God.
We need to stop calling it climate change, that's what the Republicans and the deniers do, they say, "well duh, climate changes every day..." The problem is, Republicans, that humans have polluted the global ecosystem to the point that Mother Earth is shaking herself to pieces. Anyone remember that 109° heatwave in Seattle last summer? 120°+ all up and down the West Coast, there were people on social media posting pictures of their thermostat reading 130°. Hottest on record. Then, this year, we had the coldest April on record. There's a wobble happening that is catastrophic. Widening and widening in an ever turning gyre. What rough beast, indeed. The Great Beast 666 they called me...418, the Great Work complete!
So, stop calling it climate change, call it climate CATASTROPHE, we NEED people to understand how serious this is. We need to sound the alarm. I panicked last summer, I don't know if anyone here saw me but I was posting flyers calling for a core team of radicals, a surgical strike force into the black heart of the Establishment. I sent bomb threats to the White House in Lady Greta's name. Against police brutality, racial profiling, income inequality, lying politicians... either way, I didn't even get in trouble for it. I believe they realized I was right. Something needs to be done. We are the Weather Underground and anywhere else we're needed. You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows, do ya? I'll be your weatherman, the wind is blowing towards the salvation of Mother Earth and Her children. They call me the breeze cuz I keep blowing down the road.
The Weather Underground were the most successful domestic American terrorist organization in US history. Yeah, we'll take that, we helped stop the war. We did the nasty s**t nobody else wanted to do, be hated and feared. "We come to steal, kill, and destroy. We are the incubus of your mother's worst nightmare," America. Semen on yo mountaintops, America. We hit the Pentagon, the State Department, several ROTC recruiting offices. Not a single victim. That's why you send the threat with the manifesto attached, you make your point and say if they're not out by a certain time, it's their own fault because they brought it on themselves. One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter in every single occasion. Dr Timothy Leary, PhD, another of my past lives, also me, Dr Leary, I'm here, in this body, hello folks, said that dynamite is "just white light, just divine manifestations of the inner white light of the Buddha." Social change. Bombs are pretty effective, especially if you make sure there are no victims. If a kid did it, they would be a hero and get off east as pie. They always go easy on kids...
Here's the deal, folks, how are we defining "harm" in our society? Our society tells us feelings are all important, and that words hurt us. What is a word? It's a pattern of vibrating air molecules, or ink on paper, or pixels on a screen. You have to choose to let them hurt you. What happened to "I am rubber, you are glue"? Let's get that going again. Because, here's something that might just blow your mind if you can get outside your box society put you in, FEELINGS AREN'T REAL. Wrote a whole essay in the Politics of Ecstasy about emotions. Richard Rasa , thanks again. Get that s**t out ya head, kids. Can you show me a feeling? Can you hold it in your hand? Can you nudge it with your finger? If you can't see, hear, touch, taste, or smell it, it's not real. Sigmund Freud cast a spell on the whole human race called "psychology". Psyche means "soul" in Greek, and -ology means "study of". Does that sound unscientific to anyone? I mean, supposedly, everybody has a deep-seated sexual fixation on their own mother. The "lie-detector who lied", as I said. Called ma********on "The Great Habit".
As Tim Leary, I went to Mexico on a research trip. We were clinical psychologists looking for cures. I bought, very respectfully to the culture, some psilocybin mushrooms, and for the next 5-6 hours I learned more about the inner workings of the mind than I had in my entire academic career. I was a professor at Harvard. I realized modern psychology is totally bunk. That's why Nixon labeled me The Most Dangerous Man in America and rode me out on a rail. Ram Dass, Ralph Metzner and I found out how to CURE ALL MENTAL ILLNESS. The psychiatrists realized they weren't going to be able to diagnose people as chronic and terminal and keep selling them pills that repress the mind. We actually figured out how to use psychedelics, L*D in particular, to cure cancer. Sounds crazy, I know, but it's about the power of belief. If you can believe, and trust, you can somatically reorganize your endocrine system to pump out endorphins that actually heals you. Cancer, terminal illness, anything, really. Turn on, tune in, drop out, it's the rhythm of the seed, Life Structure Death Life Structure Death Life Structure Death L S D L*D L*D. Turn on your senses, tune into the 2 billion year old flow within you, and drop out of the fake-prop tv studio set of modern reality as forced on us. We are all born perfect, divine mutants, systematically robbed of our divinity from birth by indoctrination. I want to grant you your divinity back. I want everyone to have fun. If you're not having fun, find something else to do. It's that simple.
So, we're bringing the sixties back. We had all the momentum, we were riding a crest of a high and beautiful wave... Tim Leary tripped around the country selling consciousness expansion at $3 a ticket. I've got consciousness expansion at the same price if anyone wants it, I've studied psychedelic shamanism for over ten years, now, I can guide you through or give you some references. It puts you in touch with your DNA. The Akashic records. Your genetic script. Your entire ancestry is there waiting for you. The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Gilgamesh. Also me.
Here's another thing that might blow your mind. Is-ness, being, is not a thing. Jean-Paul Satre wrote a treatise about it called Being and Nothingness. You cannot ever actually prove that anything IS anything. You can only describe what you can observe with your senses. The verb "be" has been a major method of repression by the Christian church. People spend their whole lives trying to BE something. But there is actually a whole language called E-prime. Robert Anton Wilson wrote a book called "Quantum Psychology" written entirely without the verb "be" or "is". Things AREN'T, they only appear ways. All we can confidently say or confirm about the world around us we observe with our senses. Science is the New Inquisition in that the only things it regards as real need repeated, consistent testing in a laboratory. Can you get God into a lab? The rock show you saw at the festival? That time your boyfriend broke up with you? How do you know they are real? A scientist would tell you he can't confirm the reality of what you are saying.
Belief. Faith. The single most potent element in human existence, as System of a Down sings. Everyone who sets out to prove faith healing and ESP are real succeeds. Everyone who sets out to disprove them also succeeds. Faith healing has proven effective, folks. And L*D can give anyone that power. Someone once said, "The white man goes into church, takes communion, and talks to God. The Indian goes into his teepee, smokes pe**te, and talks WITH God."
I cannot figure out why everyone in Seattle is apparently a total p***y. Wimps, all of you. I've been literally trying to GIVE this L*D away to anyone who wants it, free love drugs, free consciousness expansion, a microphone to God, serious healing power. I cured my own addiction and mental illness using them. But everyone in Seattle apparently is scared. "Oh no, the government told me it's dangerous and they have my best interest at heart, right? The Indians say it's "unnatural" cuz I can't go pick it straight out of cows**t and eat it." The natives making the push to decriminalize the mushrooms and other "natural" psychedelics are trying to capitalize on Mother Earth's best gifts and their proprietary native wisdom. I am Father Sun, Le Reine Soleil, his emissary on this Earth, to form Holy Matrimony for the Union of the Kingdom, Greta is Mother Earth, I'm Father Sun. Father Sun is here to tell you, NOTHING UNNATURAL UNDER THE SUN. It is human nature to take Mother Earth's gifts and make them safer and more effective. Do you consider cannabis dabs or wax unnatural because you extract them in a lab? L*D is derived from a fungus, too. It's also FAR SAFER AND MORE EFFECTIVE, NOT TO MENTION LESS LIKELY TO CAUSE A BAD TRIP. L*D doesn't have the emotionality that shrooms have. I hate to be this way, I respect the natives hella, and their stolen land, but they are spreading misinformation about L*D because they don't have any way to make it, they only know how to grow shrooms and Ayahuasca, which they can pretend they are the only ones who know how to use, because who would dare tell a native their indigenous wisdom is just a gimmick?
Me. I'm Dr Timothy Leary come back from the dead. If the natives have done that with shrooms, I'll shake their hand. I can teach you how to attempt it. I can heal your mind. Just stop being so goddam gullible and paranoid. Think for yourself. Question authority. You cannot overdose on L*D. You can due from shrooms and Ayahuasca. Me and Ram Dass and Ralph Metzner, "white" guys that we are, worked out tried and true clinical techniques for achieving... anything. Anything in the world that is holding you back, depressing you, hurting you, making you dysfunctional, that you're hung up on, we can cure it. It's like you fu***rs think I'm Charles fu***ng Manson or something.
Vote for me and Lady Greta. We will clench the White House and end climate change. Here are three campaign promises, oaths in Lady Greta's name: I will reduce the recidivism rate by 80% using psychedelic therapy; I will tear down the repressive psychiatric establishment and cure all mental illness; and I will bring 10 years of peace in the Kingdom, as my ancestor Brian Boru did.
Blessings,
Éireann Brigid Alexandra Shiva O'Braian VII Philopator , Empress Western Europe, Augusta of the Gaels, the Scots, the Brits, and all of Western Europe, the Lion of Ireland, Once and Future King
O Megalexandros, Hegemon of the newly Vegan Hellenic League, Strategos Autokrator of Greece, New Pharaoh of Egypt
Smiter of Troglodytes
Le Reine Soleil, Le Grand Monarque
Lucifer, the Light-bearer, the Morningstar
Grail Knight Templar in Lady Greta Thunberg's service
Champion of the Realm
The Great Beast 666, To Mega Therion
Curse-breaker
Second Coming of Christ Pantokrator
Line of the Dál gCaís, the descendancy of Father Sun
Baphomet
(206) 775-1092
