12/01/2022
There seems to be a lot of confusion and condemnation these days regarding the definition of love and what it means to be considered a "loving" person. I seriously doubt that in a few brief paragraphs here I will be able to clear the whole mess up. Nevertheless, I will attempt to direct your attention to a pair of passages that contain summative definitions of love and maybe point out some details in them that often seem to be missed.
To begin a positive definition, I John 4:8 plainly states that, "God is love." This may seem trite but it is actually a very helpful definition because it means that whatever else we think or discover in Scripture or elsewhere, the fundamental definition of love is firmly anchored and on display in the essential character, attitudes, and declarations of God, Himself. What this means is that nothing God says, thinks, or does should ever be regarded as "unloving." Love is His core nature and He is the singular standard and definition of perfect love. If you want to know what love is, look at what God says and does.
I Corinthians 13:4-8 is another helpful passage in defining love as it speaks both positively regarding love's proper attitude and behavior as well as negatively regarding things love will not do. Verse 6 helps by limiting the definition of love when it negatively states that love "does not rejoice in wrongdoing." This is an important limitation in the definition of love. God loves all people very much, but He is never happy for us when we involve ourselves in wrongdoing, even when we think ourselves very happy to be involved in it. By this definition, we are made to understand that it is never loving to rejoice with anyone who is happy about doing something God has declared to be wrong.
There seems to be a major disconnect that happens right here for some regarding this aspect of love. Perhaps the disconnection occurs because we forget that, like our definition of love, the definition of "wrongdoing" must also be drawn from the character, attitudes, and declarations of God rather than our own opinions. In other words, nothing God declares to be wrongdoing can or ever should be considered "love" or "loving." Perhaps part of the problem lies in trying to love too many things equally and without the proper prioritization defined in Scripture. Our love for God and His preferences is to bear the highest priority above our love for ourselves, our neighbors, our friends, or even our family. We must not "insist on our own way" or theirs (1 Cor 13:5). There is a necessary submission to God's definition of righteousness that must inform our definition of love.
While this is certainly not a complete definition of love, I believe it to be helpful in putting some solid parameters on our definition and pointing us in the right direction for further study and understanding. Positively, we can know that we must look to the character and actions of God to identify what love is. Negatively, we can understand that we must look to the commands and declarations of God to identify what love is not.
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