08/05/2026
Victorian Floriography
"I love you."
"I miss you."
These aren't just words that we speak to the living. Sometimes they are the heartfelt ones we quietly speak to the dead. Or in my case, the words I use without speaking, to plead with my deceased loved ones, short phrases that sound so simple but are actually code for "Why can't I see you one more time?" and "Why can't I feel your heart beating any longer?" They are simple words that, to speak out loud, can just be too much to bear.
You know that our predecessors, the Victorians, were not at all fans of the wailing and gnashing of teeth when it came to public displays of mourning, but there still was a way to convey sadness, upset, sorrow: with floriography. It was a way to speak without speaking. There is a reason people still send flowers when a friend or loved one experiences a profound loss, sometimes we just don't know what to say because words are not enough. The phrase "Say it with flowers," was patented around 1917 and it has rung true both to the present day and for hundreds of years before it was made an official saying.
This will be a multi-part post but the flower that I am the most obsessed with today, primarily used in the West, is the chrysanthemum. In many European countriesthe chrysanthemum feels very relevant in this context because of the form of its lifecycle. The flowering occurs precisely at the end of October or the beginning of November; it is not just cyclical, it is PREDICTABLE. In many parts of Europe these flowers were plentiful, not to mention affordable. In countries such as Poland, Croatia, Italy, Spain and France they are ONLY used for mourning purposes. They are symbolic of the reality and depth of grief. In Asian countries, most chrysanthemums are a symbol of hope or perfection but the exception is the white chrysanthemum, which is purely used in funerary traditions. Interestingly, in the United States today, this flower does not hold the morbid connotations that some of our European ancestors associated it with. The exception would be where some older French cultural traditions are still observed in places like New Orleans.
Henri Fantin-Latour, Annual Chrysanthemums, 1889, oil on canvas
