03/29/2024
This has been on my heart lately ❤️
Loneliness. Do you feel it too? That sinking feeling that you aren’t seen, you aren’t known, and you are on your own to face whatever difficult thing life is throwing at you. Do you ever wonder if maybe you’re the only person who feels this alone? You aren’t, by the way.
You aren’t alone in feeling alone.
I struggle with loneliness more than I like to admit. I’m not good at being needy. I’m needy, just not good at admitting it. And that has consistently damaged my relationships.
I’ve hurt people.
They’ve hurt me.
I have failed my friends. Some have forgiven me, and some have walked away. While I’m doing better than I used to, I’m far from perfect in this area. And yet I’m going to keep working at it. Because the more I look into the why of our neediness and the problem of our loneliness, the more convinced I am that at our core we are made to be fully known and fully loved.
God built us for deep connection to be part of our day-in, day-out lives, not just once in a while in the presence of a paid therapist.
The fact that we were made in the image of God, who is relationship, means our longing for healthy, mutually submissive, supportive, interdependent relationships isn’t simply us craving something good for us, like vegetables or vitamins; we are craving the fundamental reason we were created. We weren’t just built for community; we were built because of it. Woven into the fiber of our souls is a pattern for experiencing an intimate relationship with God and then expressing that love in our families and communities and churches.
How arrogant are we to think that even though the God of the universe exists in a community, our little fragile finite selves can survive without it!
But here is where we go wrong. We look to people to complete and fill what only God was meant to fill. This is the primary reason we all are so unhappy with each other. We have put our hope in imperfect people. But that hope can be answered only in God Himself. Eternity was set in our hearts, Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, which means only a relationship with an eternal God can fill our hearts.
If God is in the center of our relational circle, we will be fulfilled, and out of that fulfillment, we can bless others. But if people are in the center of our relational circle, we end up pulling on others to meet needs that they can’t ever fully meet.
Jesus said it clearest. When asked to name the greatest commandment, He said all the commandments could be boiled down to this: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39).
When you have God in the right place, at the center of your affections, you will more likely get people right. Your relationship with God comes first, and that relationship is meant to send you into loving others.
”for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.“
Psalms 107:9 NIV
