03/21/2024
We covet your prayers…Only God🙏🏼❤️
Written by our precious Daughter in Law, Wylie:↙️
Man, I haven’t had to do one of these in a while, but it is time for an update. And we have finally been able to catch our breath a little bit as we have been sprinting what seems like a million miles an hour over the past month.
The four words that you never want to hear….”your cancer is back”…especially when things have been boring for SO LONG! At the end of February, we went in for one of Josh’s routine scans and meet with the medical team after 9 months. We were truly expecting them to smile at us, tell us that he is great, and then send us on our way back home. However, once the neuro-oncologist stepped in the room, I knew. I saw it in her eyes. I knew. She hesitated before she spoke. I knew. She sat down and said “Let’s take a look at your scans.” What we saw on the scan does not take a medical professional to know that something is very NOT right. Behind the previous resection cavity was an insidious, massive white blob that looks like an oil spill on the left side of Josh’s brain.
How can this be? He is feeling totally fine!
Then came the possible diagnosis that they feel pretty certain is what we are looking at. A Grade IV Glioblastoma. This monster inside my husband’s brain was back and back with a vengeance. We sat in shock while they spoke to us about next steps. We caught words like “no radiation available”, “surgery is unlikely unless it is for a biopsy”, “maybe more chemo”, and “can always try clinical trials.”
My immediate reaction was to start planning. To start researching. To turn to Dr. Google (don’t do that by they way...it’s kind of the worst...)
But then I felt God put His hand on my shoulder and He said “I’ve got you. Trust me.” While taking deep breaths, I slowed down, took notes on what the medical team was telling us, and prayed.
We have continued to feel God’s hands holding us up as we have traveled back and forth to Seattle for MRIs, follow ups, and now we are at the stage where Josh will enter into his second craniotomy tomorrow. This procedure will be one that will allow the neurosurgeon to gather as much of this new tissue as possible to biopsy, conduct genetic testing, and use for possible qualification for clinical trials. We have also seen a pretty rapid decline in Josh’s language, speech, and some motor movement struggles. He is still very much Josh, joy filled and wants to recreate in all extreme sports, however, I will be stepping in to advocate and communicate for him more and more frequently. We are still playing the long game. We are still in the thick of it.
But, oh, are we NOT alone! Not only has the presence of God been palpable each day, we have been continually blessed by those around us. Our family, friends, work, school, faith community, neighborhood, and from the kindness of those who have heard our story and wanted to reach out and help. God has set us up in the best possible scenario while living in our worst nightmare. His Divine Providence has been clearly evident in each and every detail. He has been able to hold every single emotion I have through His way. He continues to remind me that He is here with me. That He is for Josh and that He is weeping alongside of us. He has not left us alone on the crashing waves or in the burning fire. He is shoulder to shoulder with us. He is guiding us through. He is faithful. He is good. He brings peace that doesn’t make sense.
Yes, we are in the thick of a nightmare that we desperately want to wake up from AND God is still good. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. And we will continue to find joy and praise Him in the storm. We will sit in His presence and be enveloped by His peace.
