09/09/2017
I'm in a place of moving forward in my life and honestly partly intrigued by the future and utterly shaking in my knees. The unknown and uncertainty of a new beginning rattles me to my core. I've seen so much bad in the last year..... lost a husband,a place to call home, my family, and for a while , my hope.Each day has been a challenge to wake up and crawl out of bed. I never realized til someone brought to my attention that everything I am I thought I only had in my husband. Those who know my spouse best know what a man of character he was . Mike was a good man, wonderful husband,great dad , awesome grampa,fair businessman and hard worker . He loved the Lord and from a little boy , always wanted to serve Him. In my whole life , no one loved or accepted me as I was. I always felt like I had to perform or try to be something I was not, but my husband loved me as I was. For my whole marriage that was enough. Now I am alone and I see my own brokenness as never before. I feel weak and vulnerable and looking into the mirror of my heart and soul. I am having to face myself and my own value. At this moment I don't like what I see. I know I have to keep moving forward but my feet are "stuck" in quicksand. I know I can only do this in Christ and not of myself. My new road is new faith in my God and His Word . I pray for strength to reach whatever He has for me to learn , see ,and do. I must touch , taste and see my Father in me, that my value comes from His Love for me and that was by His finished works on the cross. I am eternally grateful and in love with my God who made me , and loves me and always has . I'm thankful that I am fearfully and wonderfully made for His purposes ... I just pray I find out what they are !!!! Hebrews 13:5; Psalms 139 John 3:16 Thank You Lord for value thank you for the cross thank you for your love and acceptance of me thank you for your purpose and plan that you have for me Jeremiah 29:11 In Jesus name
