09/03/2026
Relationships can become idols in our lives.
Sometimes it isn't even the person we're idolizing. It's what we believe the relationship will give us the feeling of being chosen, wanted, loved, secure… or simply not alone.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved or wanting someone to share life with. God created us for relationship and community.
But that desire can become an idol when wanting not to be alone becomes more important than being obedient to God.
When we want someone to choose us so badly that we ignore what God is showing us.
When we settle for something unhealthy because we're afraid God's best might require a season of being alone.
When we compromise our boundaries, convictions, peace, or even our relationship with God because losing the relationship feels more frightening than losing ourselves in it.
Sometimes the question isn't, “Do I love this person?”
Maybe the harder question is:
“Do I want this relationship more than I want God's best for me?”
Because obedience sometimes means trusting God enough to release what we desperately want to hold onto.
It means believing that being alone for a season is better than staying somewhere God is asking us to leave.
And maybe part of recovery is learning that I can deeply desire to be chosen without abandoning myself, or disobeying God in order to make someone choose me.
I don't want my fear of being alone to become greater than my faith in the God who knows what is best for me.That final thought feels especially connected to Expectation too—open hands instead of gripping something because you're afraid of what happens if you let it go.
God, I still want to be chosen. I still don't want to be alone. But I want You and what You have for me more.
Psalm 37:4–5 — “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him…”