05/22/2026
May 22, 1996
This date has been so many things to me. It was a mark of last things. The last day with Jacob Ray. The last time I held him in my arms. The last sloppy wet kiss I received. The last whiff of his baby sweetness.
The last day I was the first version of Tara. The last time I looked through the lens of innocence. A joyful immaturity that you can never get back. A vigor for life without scars. She was building her future and found her calling-momma.
This date then etched in stone. A finality of time gone by. There was more than my son’s body in that grave, with it, hopes, dreams, and who we once were.
A place to visit. A place for memories. A cold stone reality of death.
In the early stages of grief we went there a lot.
I choose to live there, at least in my head. I sought the grave, not because Jacob was there, he was not. In truth, I was not, and had no rest.
The weight of grief held me captive. I believed this would never change.
I knew God was the answer, but didn’t know if He’d answer me. He didn’t just answer, He showed up. He entered my pain. He touched me to let me know He was in the room.
This brief encounter changed everything. He brought peace. He opened a door of hope.
There are times in our life that are hard to explain. What it’s like to be in such darkness you seek death and tortured when it doesn’t come. You taste death. And the significance of Hope entering your despair and in an instance defeat the grip of death.
I was a Christian before this day, now I was a Christ follower. No one could do what Jesus had done for me. I would spend the rest of my days in service to Him.
This date no longer holds me captive. It’s still a reminder of the last’s. A day to remember the way we were. It also marks a miracle. A reminder of who we became. A reminder of how God redeems.
Thirty years later, I sit in awe, of the beauty He brought out of ashes. My heart filled with gratitude. God transformed the pain into purpose.
Today also marks the anniversary of Tara Powell Ministries. It was brought to public eight years ago today. The reality of restoration. He has used our loss for His glory. I want nothing less.
I will be heading out today to lead a grief support group. How appropriate.
Instead of going to the grave today I am building an altar. Each stone represents the great work of Jesus. Tara is not capable to accomplish any of this. Only Jesus.
In the Old Testament when God showed up, they built an altar. If God spoke, an altar. A miracle preformed, an altar. When promises came to pass, an altar. He deserves more. He only ask for praise. Not just a stack of rocks. A remembrance.
Thank you Jesus!