08/28/2026
Shabbat shalom!
There have been a few times (thankfully, not more) that I have been present with people who were very close to the end of their lives.
At those times, I have had the privilege of saying the traditional deathbed confession, or vidui, which is conceptually similar to the confessionals we will recite repeatedly on Yom Kippur.
The traditional deathbed vidui includes the idea that death can complete the process of atonement for our sins.
Some people have been troubled by this language, especially by the implication that death is a deserved punishment for something the dying person had done during their life.
I understand this practice differently, in light of a teaching connected to this week's Torah portion, Ki Tavo.
Much of the portion consists of a series of blessings and curses connected to the people's obedience or disobedience to the laws of the Torah.
Among the blessings is this beautiful verse: "Blessed shall you be in your comings and blessed shall you be in your goings" (Deuteronomy 28:6).
On the surface, Moses is blessing us when we leave home and when we return—that everywhere we go we should be blessed.
But Rashi, drawing on the Talmud, hears something much more profound in these words. He understands "comings" and "goings" as referring to our arrival in and departure from this world: "Your going out from the world should be without sin, just as your coming into the world was without sin."
We enter the world innocent of sin. Ideally, we should leave it having done what we can to make peace—with other people, with ourselves, and with God.
That means resolving the conflicts we can resolve, asking for forgiveness when we have caused hurt, offering forgiveness when we have been hurt, expressing the gratitude and love that need to be expressed, and coming to some sense of wholeness with the life we have lived.
And if, despite our best efforts, something remains unresolved, our tradition teaches that death itself can complete the process of atonement.
Seen this way, the deathbed vidui is not primarily about punishment. It is about the possibility of completing the work of a lifetime. It is about trying our best to live well with whatever time we have, so that when our time comes to leave this world, we can do so with as little unfinished business as possible.
There is a particular kind of clarity that can come at the end of life. The things that once seemed so important can fall away, and what really matters becomes clear: the people we love, the relationships we have nurtured or neglected, the apologies we have offered or withheld, and the ways we have used the precious time we were given.
The gift of this season of Elul is that we don't have to wait until the end of our lives to gain that clarity.
As we approach the Days of Repentance, the vidui of Yom Kippur gives us an opportunity to practice this kind of reflection now, while there is still time to repair what needs repairing, say what needs saying, and change what needs changing.
May we enter this new year with something of that deathbed clarity: not with fear of the end, but with a deeper appreciation for the time we have been given and a renewed commitment to use it well.