09/23/2025
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Does The Addicted Person’s Family have PTSD? Thoughts?
Linda is exhausted, heartbroken, and desperate. Her son's addiction has created serious medical issues for him, such as cardiovascular problems, collapsed veins, and bacterial infections of his blood vessels and heart valves, and still, he continues to use.
Linda says she has put her son back together more times than she can count. Linda admits that her son wasn’t the only one with heart problems. Linda takes medication for high blood pressure and worries that constant stress is making it worse.
Linda asks, “Is it possible I have PTSD?”
After encouraging Linda to seek medical advice for her high blood pressure, I sat silently. It seemed what Linda really needed was to talk. And talk, she did. As I listened, I noted Linda had been waiting a long time to be heard.
Linda's son is 40 years old and has only recently moved out of her home. For the last 20 years, he has lived in various places but always returns home to Linda when he is evicted or broke. Linda said she has a love/hate relationship with her son. She loves him, but doesn’t like him living with her and not helping out. Linda has asked her son to mow the grass and fix things around the house. Colin promises Linda he will, but never follows through with his promises. Linda is 65 and says she is tired of picking up after him.
Linda also gave an essential piece of information. Linda is afraid of her son. She says if she nags Colin too much, he explodes. Sometimes Colin shouts and swears at his mother, and one time he even punched holes in the wall. Then there was one terrible night when Colin was using m**h and seeing things. He swung at Linda, leaving a large bruise on her arm. When it gets this bad in the home, Linda says it’s easier to give Colin what he wants.
Linda describes her relationship with her son as chaotic, intense, and, at times, terrifying.
But is Linda struggling with PTSD?
PTSD is defined as a mental health condition that occurs when a person sees or experiences a terrifying event. Soldiers returning home from combat often struggle with PTSD. What they witness on the battlefield is horrifying.
Families are fighting a war, too. It's a silent epidemic unfolding across North America. It's a traumatic scene that plays out over and over again, behind closed doors.
Watching your loved one commit su***de one fix at a time is incredibly devastating. It is also highly stressful living life on high alert and waiting for that dreaded phone call.
Another Mom said she worked in the healthcare field for years, but after watching her own son overdose, she has changed. This Mom claims every time she hears a siren, she loses her breath and feels panicky.
Many parents with addicted children lose contact with them. During these periods, parents have no idea if their children are alive or dead. Parents also struggle with the suffocating guilt of turning their children out of their homes because they have nothing left to give.
If you have PTSD, you will experience heightened anxiety and depression. You may have night terrors, startle easily, and avoid social settings and people. This can result in isolation, further complicating matters.
Linda's question is an important one. So I asked Dr. Vincent, a leading psychiatrist in the field of addiction and author of Diagnosing and Treating Addictions: An Integrated Approach to Substance Use Disorders and Concurrent Disorders, what his thoughts were. This is his response.
Hi Lorelie,
“Can parents and family members develop PTSD from their loved one’s addiction?” In my opinion, the most concise answer is “absolutely!” A more sophisticated response would require a very in-depth review of diagnostic criteria according to DSM-V and the pending ICD 11, due for publication in 2017. It would also involve differentiation between PTSD and “complex PTSD” which is perhaps the best way to formulate PTSD in this context. The diagnosis involves exposure to “trauma” which can be either directly experienced or through more indirect exposure. There is absolutely no question in my mind that family members are traumatized through their intimate relationship with an addicted family member. The potential trauma may be wide-ranging from physical violence, witnessing su***de attempts or accidental overdoses, extreme forms of intimidation and verbal abuse, awareness of involvement in gangs, prostitution, or other illegal activities with potential for extremely negative consequences, etc. The other criteria relate to a range of “symptoms” that are experienced by the family member in response to these traumatic events. There is considerable literature describing PTSD and its associated symptoms. It's clear there's a strong association between PTSD and addiction in individuals suffering from addictive disorders. There appears to be limited research and information regarding PTSD and family members as a result of their loved one’s disease. This appears to be a much-neglected area of research and knowledge.
In conclusion to Dr. Vincent’s response, it appears we have only scratched the surface when it comes to the addicted person's family struggling with PTSD.
Working with the addict's family, it has long been my belief that they are in shock, grieving, and emotionally abused.
When your loved one struggles with addiction, your focus is on them. This outward focus leaves family members unaware of their own mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional decline.
But there is good news.
The road to compassion and healing doesn't start with them. It begins with you. Addiction is a family equation. While you may not be able to get your loved one help, you can send a powerful message. "I walk my talk." Boundaries will enable you to love without becoming sick yourself.
Joining a support group will enlarge your social circle, and there's som**hing very healing in spending time with others who say, "Me too."
Most importantly, don't wait for your loved one to see the light. Lead the way! Statistics show that people struggling with addiction are most successful when their families are educated and in recovery.
Lorelie Rozzano
www.jaggedlittleedges.com
