08/20/2020
Traditionally, there are 3 wedding ceremonies in Côte d’Ivoire. The ceremony at the church—the idea most Americans are familiar with—is the final ceremony. Earlier that day, the second ceremony is held at the local city hall. Typically, a few weeks before this day, the first ceremony is held between the families—the traditional ceremony.
Our teammate, Wilfried, celebrated the traditional ceremony with his fiancé Mara this past weekend!
We asked Wilfried to share with us how the traditional wedding ceremony works (for the Baoulé people group), and this is what he shared!
“This is the occasion when the parents of the groom and himself will go to the parents of the bride to marry her customarily. The groom and his parents send the things that the parents of the bride have requested. During this part of the ceremony, the bride is inside the house.
When my parents had finished giving gifts to Mara’s parents, they asked, ‘We gave you the gifts you asked for, but where is the bride?’ (It’s just be funny, it’s not obligatory to do this.) Mara’s parents said, ‘Mara is hidden somewhere and she has to come. But you need to pay for the transportation of the person who is going to go get her!’ So, we gave them a little bit of money to “cover the transport”—5,000 or 2,000 CFA for someone to “go get her”. In reality, she wasn’t far—just in the house, hidden. It’s just a little game. And when people went to get her, they sent another girl—it wasn’t Mara. They hid her face (so I couldn’t see her very well) and asked “is this Mara?” And I said, “No, this isn’t her.” They went back and sent someone else outside—another girl who was really well covered. And they asked me, “Is this her?” It still wasn’t her. Then they responded, “Okay you need to give us more money for transport because we used all the money you gave us.’ So, we gave a little bit more money. The third time they sent another girl out. They had her face hidden as well and asked ‘Okay Wilfried, is this Mara? Is this your fiancé?’ Thankfully, I saw her feet and recognized her! And I said, ‘Yes, that’s her!’ And everyone applauded!”
[The idea behind covering the bride so that she is harder to recognize is to ensure that the groom can recognize his wife even if he can’t see her face. It proves that he really knows his bride and the wedding can move forward. ]
And about that 5 francs? Wilfried explains again:
"In Africa, particularly in Côte d’Ivoire when you give the gifts to the bride’s family, you always add a 5 francs coin. The tradition is that when there is an argument, the wife might say, 'Ah, you’ve never even given me 5 francs!' (In reality, she has received a lot more than that!). But the husband always gives her 5 francs during the traditional ceremony to make sure she can’t say in the middle of a disagreement later on, 'You’ve never even given me 5 francs!'"