Newly Christian

07/20/2023

Throughout my life I have condemned God for my struggles.

Before having faith, I truly didn’t believe that a just God would allow myself (then a child) to go through everything I had went through.

Now I understand, my struggles were lessons. Those lessons have taught me to be a better parent than my own, to not sacrifice myself for the happiness of others, and to believe in a great love that is kind and patient.

Everyone learns different lessons sometimes from very similar, if not the very same, struggles. I’m grateful for my struggles because now I am more appreciative than ever for the life I have now.

07/16/2023

07/15/2023

Lord, I pray for my friends struggling with infertility tonight. I pray they have the strength to keep going or even stop and pursue other options. I hope you bless these families with a baby that they so desperately crave and long for. I pray that they are able to experience the love of a child in their families. Lord please bless these families and let Your will be done.

I pray for answered prayers.

Amen.

07/12/2023

“God is within her; she will not be toppled. God will help her when the morning dawns.” Psalm 46:5

Reading this struck a cord with me tonight.

I am a stay at home mother, student, and have recently found myself pregnant with baby number two.

So many blessings, I know. It’s a privilege for me to stay home (especially in this economy, am I right?), it’s a privilege for me to continue my education, and it’s a wonderful blessing for me to be able to conceive.

I have faced many battles in my life: childhood neglect, abusive relationships, and infertility.

I have not toppled though. Everyday I wake up again and push forward. How is that? God— that’s how.

Even when I didn’t believe and was in the depths of my new age spirituality phase, I still found myself praying almost every night. Did I know who? Not really. Did I address this person as the Universe? Yep, sure did.

But it was always God. He listened when I thought no one was. He brought me out of every single one of those heart aching situations and led me to a much richer life.

Every new day that dawned was brought to me by God’s grace and his faithful love. He saw me even when I didn’t trust in him.

Now, being a new Christian, I see where God has been in my life and has been listening to and fulfilling every prayer. He has been my Dawn from the, what it seemed like at the time, never ending nightmare.

I now sit in my beautiful home with my loving husband and son rubbing the poppyseed of a baby in my stomach just in awe of the miracles that have played out in my life.

I give all the glory to God because He didn’t let me topple, he helped me see a new day, he was my new beginning.

I pray everyone seeks Him and finds refuge in Him.

“God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1

Amen

07/02/2023

Tonight I pray for the children of addiction.

I pray that they find forgiveness in their hearts for their mother or father.

I pray that they remember that God is looking over them, because he sees us all even when it feels like we are invisible.

I pray that they find peace in the Word and in worship.

I pray for their children, the grandchildren of addiction, and that their families rally around them so much that there is never the feeling of someone missing.

I pray for the children who have had to cut their addict parent out of their lives for their children’s sake.

I pray for the children who have been hit by the financial burden of their parent’s addiction.

I pray for the children who have take care of their siblings because their parents aren’t sober enough to raise them.

I pray for the big sisters taking on the role of Mom.

I pray for the little brothers who do not know where mommy is every night.

I pray for Mothers and Fathers who do not understand why they were not enough to stray their parents away from addiction.

I pray for the addicts.

I pray the addicts find Jesus, that they find the strength to turn their lives around.

I pray for them to find redemption in You for in Psalm 32 it says “How joyful is the one whose trangression is forgiven, whose sin is covered!”

I pray for amends to made and for healing to begin.

I pray for the families of addicts who are lost with out their sister, brother, cousin, aunt, or uncle.

Mourning someone who is still alive is a different kind of pain, a pain that I wish upon no one. I pray for everyone whose heart weighs heavy tonight wishing they knew where that addict was, if they were okay, if they have eaten or bathed. I pray for the addict and hope they find themselves again. I pray for a story of redemption.

06/30/2023

“Do not remember the sins of my youth or my acts of rebellion; in keeping with your faithful love, remember me because of your goodness, Lord.”
Psalm 25:7

At the age of 25, I was saved. The day after my birthday, actually. The following week- I was baptized.

I didn’t grow up in church and actually really hated Christianity. That’s probably not what you were expecting to read when this post begins with a Bible verse.

What I realized the day I was saved was that I had been running. Running my entire life from the one thing that would bring me peace. Maybe I wasn’t ready for it, maybe God knew the timing just wasn’t right for me to find Him. Whatever the reason, I didn’t know God and His love for 25 years.

Looking back now, that is absolutely insane. God has brought me so much peace ranging from the bitterness I held against my mother-in-law to dealing with the trauma of my neglected childhood.

I held so much hatred in my heart for any so-called Christian, their beliefs, and towards God himself- really. I had such an awful childhood, how could there be a God? I am so broke, why would God not provide for me but provide for everyone else? How could there be a God when everything is so hard and unfair?

I felt like Job, truly. I knew I was a good person but why was God punishing me? It wasn’t Him. It was Satan, he was the one attacking me. God never meant me any harm.

Satan was everywhere in my life. He was in my mothers drug addiction, in my fathers violence, in the greed that plagued my entire family. So how could I ever escape that type of grip? I couldn’t for a long time. I even began dabbling in witchcraft and new age spirituality, I was comfortable not knowing God because Satan had me convinced that he never cared about me to begin with.

That is so untrue. God cared for me in my grandmothers, God cared for me by sending me protective teachers and Christian friends, God cared for me by sending me my husband and his devout mother.

God cared for me in so many ways but I was controlled by Satan. He had penetrated my mind, heart, and soul that it took 25 years for me to finally see God’s face.

I beg God to forgive me for not seeing his goodness sooner, I beg God to show me grace and remember me favorably, I beg for His faithful love to guide me into this new life because I am reborn.

I have ran for 25 years along side Satan, and finally, God stopped me. He shined his light on me and I am freed.

Not everyone’s journey will look the same, but we are all forgiven for our rebellion in the name of Christ Jesus.

Tonight I pray for the newly saved, newly baptized, the newly Christians.

Please guide them, protect them, and bless them.

Thank you Lord for our salvation, your son, the lamb.

Amen