09/20/2022
Went along with the topic today I thought. We aren’t meant to carry it all by ourselves. 🤍
I still carry her sometimes.
Some say too much.
But I carry on and carry her.
Her feet nearly at my knees, her age two and a half, nearly three. Even though she can walk, and run, and carry things on her own.
I still carry her, making things harder for me and easier for her.
I still carry her, with her perched on one hip, incorrectly formed sentences echoing in my ear.
I still carry her, and more than just her weight when she’s in my arms.
I still carry her.
When she wants to be carried.
When she needs to be carried.
When she reaches out to me with her now-longer arms and says, “Mum, up, up, up” with her now-shorter patience.
I lift her up.
I bring her close to me.
I carry her like she’s still my baby.
Because she is still my baby.
She will always be my baby.
A baby who one day will carry herself by choice.
A baby with height, and “cool” clothes and a cell phone that she doesn’t call me on as much as I’d like.
A baby who, when she wants to be carried, may choose to be carried in the arms of someone other than her mum.
So, I still carry her.
Around our kitchen, the shops, and at the end of every walk.
Because regardless of age or size, or whether we can get from A to B on our own, we all need and want to be carried sometimes, don’t we?
Because regardless of the load we are carrying ourselves, we all like the load to be shared or carried for us sometimes, don’t we?
Because regardless of what others think, allowing ourselves to still be carried sometimes is important, isn’t it?
I still carry her because I want to teach her this.
I want to normalise sharing the load, and allowing herself to be carried sometimes.
I want her to value herself enough to know that being carried sometimes is never a weakness.
Because as women we carry a lot.
Some say too much.
So, I carry her now.
I will carry her when she lets me.
And I will always carry more than her weight whether she needs me to or not.
In my mind, my heart, my every breath,
I will carry her forever.
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📖 Words taken from my 2nd book “Mother On”. My poetry books are linked here: https://www.hangingwiththeheaphys.co.nz/emmaheaphypoetryseries
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Art: angelica.ch.r
