06/08/2026
A few years ago, a sweet woman reached out on Instagram and shared her story with me.
She thought she’d been obedient to God for the past decade after an immense heartbreak, but she was questioning that now because her life was still really hard. She wanted to know if I would be so positive and confident in trusting the Lord if I hadn’t met the man who is now my husband, Chaz.
Such a fair and understandable question.
I sat with her question for a while. This is what I wrote back:
“I’ve spent many nights staring up into the sky, bewildered as I felt my disappointment turn from grief to numbness to distance from God. There were so many times when I thought God was about to turn everything around, but then things got worse. Some of my darkest days were when I couldn’t understand what God was allowing. And my fear was: Because God allowed all of this, what else might He allow?
Slowly, I’ve realized I cannot attach my hope to God making things feel fair. And I certainly can’t attach my hope to my desired outcomes. I have to attach my hope to who God is. He’s good and faithful, a Father who loves me.
God’s character, which never changes, is His promise to me and you. We can stand with assurance on who He is even when we don’t understand what He does or doesn’t do. There are still hurtful things happening surrounding my divorce too. I wish this wasn’t the case for either of us.
I’m grateful God has brought into my life a man who loves Jesus, and I'm grateful for all the joy that comes along with being in a healthy relationship. But even this gift comes with fears and uncertainties. So my challenge now is not to tie my hope of a better future to this new man. It’s the same lesson I was learning during the many years of feeling so very alone. I now have different challenges, but I'm still learning to trust God just like when my friends found new love while I was intensely lonely. It’s so hard.
I understand, and I so wish I could look into your future and whisper back to you all the wonderful things ahead of you. While I can’t do that, I can promise God is at work. Hang on, beautiful friend.”
Today, I hope you feel a little less alone as you walk through your hard situations. Like the sweet friend who sent me a message, we all have what-if questions. But I’ve found the best way to fight through our toughest questions is to create space for more of God’s perspective.
