06/04/2026
Marriage is more than living together and loving each other. It requires reliance on God, discipline, a sense of responsibility, and mutual respect. Yes, the Bible says in Ephesians 5:25-27, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,...”
1 Peter 3:1-7 “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands…”
(We will go beyond the ellipsis later in this post)
There is a process to getting there to achieving mutual respect, and it consists of submission to God and growth. First, acknowledge that there is a problem. Especially for those married for less than 5 years, but for those of married for more than 5 years, we have either accepted it, or we have some major work on our hands. It may be that we respect our spouse in one way, but not the other. You respect their a hard worker and provider, but they aren’t pleasant to be around.
Acknowledgment pt 1. Sounds simple, but some people do not realize how they treat their spouse. Some acknowledge their spouse with a frown or disdainful facial expression. While others are happy to say, “Yes, that is my husband/wife.” There are some who only acknowledge their spouse when they receive positive attention or when someone else notices them. Some spouses are quick to say, “That's my spouse,” but at home, they slam doors in their face or speak harshly to them. Sometimes we teach ourselves bad habits because of what we experience in life or because of how society/culture dictates. Ladies, we all heard the “I don’t need no man,” “He can’t control me, I do what I wanna do…” yes, even from married women. For those who are newly married, there's now someone, and he’s the head of the household.
Now, men, that doesn’t mean be a dictator. I do not know why some men get married and treat their wives like a servant. Barking orders and demanding they obey. Showing no love or compassion. Telling the wives not to spend, but they shop however they want. They won’t even help with their own kids or household duties. They are lazy, but they want their wives to be diligent and hardworking, and that goes vice versa.
Self-Reflection pt 2 “I have a problem, and I now see it.” I know I need to change, and our lives can be better if I am better. I need to do better about respecting my spouse. (No Spouse blaming) Start with self-examining: Why am I like this? Learned it from watching family/ parents? No positive examples, even in other married friends.
Bad examples can blind us to the good examples. You notice a couple who seem to have it all but fight all the time. You are being distracted by the drama; you do not see that husband and wife, who have grown over the years, are following God and are truly happy. It’s no fairy tale, just requires God and the willingness to change.
Why is this so important? It goes beyond just the marriage and extends to our obedience to God. Let's go past the ellipsis now:
Ephesians 5:25-27 “...that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
1 Peter 3:1-7 “…so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives… Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Activation pt 3 Put in the Work Make the changes, correct attitudes, and work on lines of communication that have been severed due to mistreatment and lack of respect. Realize that both of you are vital to your marriage. Two become One!
If we mutually respect each other, we please God and improve our marriage and our lives. We will draw others to seek God and to live productive lives. We spread the gospel of Jesus Christ through our actions and our willingness to submit, change, and improve.
Learned Couples and Learning Couples are Productive couples that Love and Respect each other.
Have a blessed day
APOR-Newnan Marriage Ministry
