Rabbi Lauren Grabelle Herrmann

Rabbi Lauren Grabelle Herrmann Rabbi, activist, feminist, mom.

Utilizing and teaching transformative Torah that helps us grow as human beings, expand (self and other) compassion, and deepen our commitment to smashing the patriarchy, dismantling racism, and fighting for LGBTQIA rights.

Sometimes, when basic humanity and respect are not present, when individuals actively target and harm us (and people lik...
10/03/2024

Sometimes, when basic humanity and respect are not present, when individuals actively target and harm us (and people like us), it may not be safe to turn towards the other — and that’s ok..

At the same time, I want to challenge us not to let the most extreme individuals shut us off from all people with whom we do not agree or who have radically different backgrounds than our own. To not let it shut us off from seeing the common humanity of the other, even ones whose ideas might offend us.

To illustrate this, let me tell you the story of Dylan Marron. Dylan is a digital content creator whose work has centered around progressive, pro LGBTQ content. Dylan also is a gay man. Not surprisingly, as happens in the online world, Dylan was bombarded with hateful and often homophobic messages online. Contrary to what we might expect, Marron did something unusual — he reached out to some of the folks who sent him hate mail and invited them to have a conversation to get to know each other. He recorded the interactions for a series called “Conversations with People who Hate me...”

He reported that opening himself up to a person who had said something hurtful or homophobic was scary. To help him enter into the conversations, Dylan developed a mantra for himself: “Empathy is not an endorsement.”

To help him enter into the conversations, Dylan developed a mantra for himself: “Empathy is not an endorsement.”

Wow. So simple. So powerful.

So I ask us: what might be possible if we took on this mantra: “Empathy is not an endorsement?” We don’t have to agree or even condone in order to see another’s humanity, to expand our universe of care and concern.

Rosh HaShanah 2024/5784

My Bat Mitzvah story (sadly no pictures to be found right now but here is a picture of a bright pink poofy shouldered dr...
03/16/2022

My Bat Mitzvah story (sadly no pictures to be found right now but here is a picture of a bright pink poofy shouldered dress that approximates what I wore!. Not the happiest of stories, but a turning point for sure.

Read Rabbi Lauren's reflection on her Bat Mitzvah:

"My bat mitzvah was a transformative moment in my life -- but not for the reasons you might expect.

After preparing my bat mitzvah portion via cassette tape for months, the day arrived. For the evening, I wore a black suit jacket and argyle patterned black and white pencil skirt, like Melanie Griffith in “Working Girl.'' For the Saturday afternoon party, I wore a pink dress with very puffy sleeves which was framed by towering hair-sprayed hair. It was very 1980s!

In the receiving line after the Friday night bat mitzvah service, my good friend Adam’s father came up to wish me a hearty Mazel Tov! He said to me: “Wow! The girls do just as much as the boys do!” He meant it as a compliment, but my heart stopped. What was he talking about? Until that moment, it had not occurred to me that the boys had a very different assignment than the girls for their s’machot. I soon realized that the boys stood up on Shabbat mornings in front of a larger congregation and chanted from the Torah while I had chanted from a photocopied piece of paper containing some lines from the Haftarah and its blessings. The boys had led major sections of prayer; I had sung two songs (and I sang them off-key!). This is the first time in my life I remember feeling less valued because I was a girl, the first (but not the last) time I felt that my community set different and higher expectations from my male peers. I felt cheated and angry.

While my bat mitzvah became a fraught experience, I also regard it as the moment I became a Jewish feminist, and ultimately, this experience has fueled my vision for a Judaism committed to equality and radical welcome."

03/11/2022
03/11/2022

August 6, 2020
Truth and Compassion for the Men of the Lucerne

Dear SAJ Community,

In the past few weeks, a controversy has erupted on the Upper West Side regarding the temporary use of local hotels to shelter homeless men. Since the decision to move them from shelters where socially distancing was not possible was made with urgent public health concerns in mind, the normal community engagement process for housing the homeless in residential neighborhoods was not followed. Unfortunately, this has resulted in a great deal of misinformation and mistrust. Sadly, hateful and dehumanizing rhetoric and active harassment towards these men have also emerged in the community.

I have been in touch nearly daily with the Director Project Renewal, the agency running the shelter at the Lucerne Hotel and he has put together this FAQ sheet. Meanwhile, I want to highlight a few things:
700 men are living in three hotels on the Upper West Side. This is of a total of now over 13,000 homeless people living in around 140 hotels throughout the city.
In the Lucerne Hotel, there are no registered s*x offenders that are legally required to be distanced from school zones. There have been rumors about the other two hotels and current reports state that everyone who needed to be moved has been moved.
The shelter accepts men who have a history and current use of alcohol and drug abuse, which is often the reason they were homeless in the first place. These men, as well as the broader community, are safer when they are in shelter and not on the streets; there is also evidence that drug and alcohol use decreases in shelter
When ambulances are called to the hotel, this does not always indicate a drug overdose. Many of the men have chronic health conditions and out of concerns of liability, ambulances are called.
Crime rates have primarily stayed the same or decreased in the week since the men’s arrival into the neighborhood and have been lower than in years past at this time.

This I hope lends some “emet” - some truth and transparency to the situation. Now, I must speak passionately about “hesed” - compassion. In the past two weeks, I have been dismayed by what I have seen and heard about (some members of) the community’s response to these new temporary residents. A few examples include: reports from Project Renewal’s staff of being harassed on the street because people confuse them with residents due to their skin color; photograph after photograph of these men being posted on social media without their permission and most of the time, the photograph is of men simply sitting on a street corner or bench talking to each other as if their presence in the neighborhood is itself a crime; community members calling Project Renewal’s 24 hour hotline (created to help them respond in real time to problems) non-stop and verbally abusing the staff who answer; individuals on a Facebook Group for “Safer Streets” being kicked off the list for suggesting that members of the community donate or visit the shelter; calls for an in person protest to call for the immediate removal of these men.

All of these examples and the many more I am not naming I betray our Jewish values -- values of welcoming the stranger, recognizing that each person is “b’tselem elohim” -- created in the Divine Image, treating others with “kavod” - dignity, dan l’kaf z’chut-- giving the benefit of the doubt, not closing our hearts to the needy (Deuteronomy 15)-- to name just a few. Further, dehumanizing these men makes the problem about them instead of seeing homelessness as a systemic issue that needs to be addressed through policy and societal change.

Here are things you can do to address to support these men and/counter the narrative:
Visit the Lucerne to say hello. Bring some cookies or fresh fruit to share with the residents. When I know more about needs for donation, I will let you know.
Sign this alternative petition supporting the residents and calling for systemic solutions to the problem of homelessness. (The petition was crafted by a group of Upper West Side moms including two of our members)
Write to elected officials to tell them you support these men’s right to safe shelter in a pandemic. Emails can be found at the bottom of this letter.
Learn more about the roots of homelessness and examine our own prejudices. I have gathered a group of faith leaders on the UWS and we are hoping to use this moment to begin community education on the issues of homelessness in the NYC community. Stay tuned!
Practice kindness and call out cruelty. Whether or not you agree with the city’s proposal, we should never dehumanize another person. Rather, we should seek out opportunities to learn their stories and lift up their humanity.

With hopes for emet - truth- and hesed - compassion for the Upper West Side and our whole world,

Rabbi Lauren

From Ayeka to Hineni: Showing up in a Broken World. Yom Kippur 2020
03/11/2022

From Ayeka to Hineni: Showing up in a Broken World.
Yom Kippur 2020

Rabbi Lauren Grabelle Herrman Yom Kippur 5781 Sermon

The day we found out that Biden became President...during shul!
03/11/2022

The day we found out that Biden became President...during shul!

On November 7, 2020, during Shabbat morning services, we heard the news that Joe Biden was elected President and Kamala Harris was elected Vice President. T...

Building the World We Wish To See, Building our MishkanRosh HaShanah 2021
03/11/2022

Building the World We Wish To See, Building our Mishkan
Rosh HaShanah 2021

Rabbi Lauren Grabelle HerrmannSAJ-Judaism that Stands for All 5782, anticipating the 100th Anniversary of SAJ

The Power of Pausing, on Yom Kippur and Every Day Kol Nidre 2021
03/11/2022

The Power of Pausing, on Yom Kippur and Every Day
Kol Nidre 2021

Rabbi Lauren Grabelle Herrmann Sermon Kol Nidre 2021

03/11/2022

Why it is so important for us to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Bat Mitzvah.

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