Charles and Spring Ministries

04/06/2022

https://youtu.be/JI_qW6FXsVk

Sleep - can be such a struggle when going through deep waters. It’s the one thing we really have no control over too. We can position ourselves for sleep but...

04/11/2020

Life is hard.

At just the young age of 6 my grandmother who was dying of colon cancer moved into our house and into my room on a hospital bed while she was on hospice. Every day I watched her get worse and worse and the reality of life and death became very real for me.

After many moves throughout elementary school, and another new "restart" as I began 7th grade I was flown home from youth camp in Florida for my Dad's emergency triple by pass surgery. Things didn't go well and for the next year, my life was not the same as he recovered.

Then I traveled on mission trips around the world with team members I did not know. I found myself on an old rickety bus, driving on dirt roads weaving around tall mountains in the middle of no where in the Andes mountains on the border between Bolivia and Argentina. No one could help me. Things were totally out of my control. It was dangerous.

One of my best childhood friends was killed in a car accident the day before her 17th birthday. I was at the hospital doing clinicals and met the driver that hit her.

I married Charles who had a terminal diagnosis. Over the course of 5 years due to circumstances completely out of our control, everything that helped us live and survive life slowly was taken away. Everything that he had worked for in the world of business was lost, his health began to fail until he ultimately died suddenly of something that no one ever expected or could have been prepared for.

Life as a widow with two one-year old twins in the middle of losing everything, multiple moves and restarting your life and having to move states, was hard.

Life is hard.

Though I know my story of hardship is not unique to me and others have suffered so much more - the point is - we ALL have stories of hardship, just different circumstances.

Our entire world is groaning with hardship right now.

But after growing up in a home surrounded by my parents who lived each and every day for Jesus Christ - I knew early on that this "Jesus" they knew was someone I wanted to know too. So when a special speaker came to our church and shared a story of his own life of unbelievable hardship and his attempt at figuring out life through everything that the world had to offer to find peace - but he could never find it - it was only Jesus. I knew, there was no reason to pursue that peace from anything else other than Jesus, myself.

In that moment, I asked Jesus to come into my life. I knew I had been disobedient to God and because of that, without God's forgiveness I was separated from Him. I wanted to be with Him. I wanted Him to guide my life and give me purpose just as I had seen Him do for my parents.

One day when I was a nursing professor - I asked my students what hope was and what did they hope in. One of my students quickly chimed in that her hope was in the fact that "there was always hope for a better tomorrow."

I am thankful that my hope is not just that I hope tomorrow is a better tomorrow than today. I am thankful that I have hope. My hope is found in nothing less that Jesus Christ. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I know that this life is not all that life is about. That there is life beyond this here and now. There is life beyond all the suffering and hardship of life. I know that He uses our suffering for His purposes and our good. I know there is purpose in the pain. I know that I have a Savior who loves me and wants what is best for me. I know there is hope of heaven without any doubt.

Life is hard. It's really hard. But with Jesus - He makes it all possible.

Do you know Him? Maybe you know of Him. Maybe you know about Him. But do you know Him? Is He your Savior? His sacrifice and resurrection that we reflect upon and celebrate this weekend was all for you. He took your place so that you wouldn't have to be separated from God. But you have to know Him. Jesus forever changed my life and He can change yours as well. There is no other possible way I could have made it through this life without Him.

12/06/2019

If I were to ever write a book (haha) as many have suggested, I think I would name it something like, “Its a Wonderful Non-Pinterest, No Picket Fence Life.” And the Christmas season could be an entire chapter all of its own. I love seeing all the pictures of this time of year - advent calendars in full swing, houses beautifully decorated, elves/wisemen/shepherd on the shelf moving around, the list goes on and it would be easy to be bitter, or unsatisfied and discontent. There is a piece of me who desires to give all that to my children and more but at the heart of it, I know that I can’t and I have learned over and over again that it’s not what is important. What is important is spending time with my kids, letting them enjoy the small things - even tonight at the spare of the moment we drove around looking at Christmas lights. Their awe and wonder and excitement was quite entertaining - if you could have only experienced it. We will also be spending time with family but most of all - it is making sure my kids know the reason behind the season and all that Jesus has done for us and letting it be a time of giving to others as well. There will be lots of fun, there will be plenty of memories made and a few traditions started or continued - and Jesus’ name will be at the forefront - and that is the most important to this non-Pinterest, no picket white fence life we live.

Maybe it’s the same for you. Different circumstances may be at the forefront but Christmas just isn’t as you would “wish it to be in a perfect world.” It’s easy to get caught up in what we don’t have or what we don’t do - it can leave us feeling inadequate, dissatisfied and discontent but if we truly understand what is important and be faithful to what God has for us and where He has us - there is nothing that can be better for us or our families than that!

11/26/2019

Have you ever broke anything made of glass? The shattered pieces everywhere in a million different pieces some never found and others found in places you never expected. There is no way to ever put those pieces back together. All we can do is just clean up the mess and move on.

That was me 3 years ago.

Have you ever broke anything made of glass? The shattered pieces everywhere in a million different pieces; some never found and others found in places you never expected. There is no way to ever put those pieces back together. All we can do is just clean up the mess and move on.

11/01/2019

Do you know someone struggling with a “new normal”? Maybe they have a new physical diagnosis, maybe life just hasn’t gone as planned. This is my encouragement to you.

Do you know someone struggling with a “new normal”? Maybe they have a new physical diagnosis, maybe life just hasn’t gone as planned. This is my encouragement to you.

10/25/2019

10/24/2019

I had forgotten about this article but thankful we had the opportunity to write this together just weeks before Charles would pass away... it is a great reminder of so many things...

“No matter who you are, where you come from, what you have, or what you don’t have, what you are able to do or not do, or how “abnormal” you are, life is worth living because of the One who gave us life. It is only through Him that hope and purpose come. He is the one that can take someone, like Charles, who can not move on their own, and can not even breathe on their own and give them life…and give them an abundant life. Yes, life is hard. Yes, it is difficult some days to imagine waking up to what he wakes up to all of the rest of his days, but he is able to do that because of Christ and Christ alone. Our hope and purpose only comes through Christ.”

Charles is 40 and he suffers from Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, which was diagnosed when he was 4 years old. Spring is 33 and we have 10 month old twins, Charles Lucian and London. We live a life that may seem beyond the “norm” but is our normal. Our “normal” life often leads to treading deep waters,...

10/15/2019

Today is our wedding anniversary. Though the days preceding today have had more sadness and tears than usual, today I have spent a lot of time reflecting and being thankful for such a great man that I had the opportunity to do life with. Was our marriage perfect? No. Because we weren't perfect. But it was the marriage I had always wanted and dreamed of having. A marriage built on Christ, love and commitment. A marriage where I was loved for who I was and not what someone wanted me to be. A marriage where we may have fought hard but we also fought hard for each other. A marriage that was full of grand adventures and the most challenging of times. A marriage in which we carried out God's will together and prayerfully others know Christ and know Christ in a deeper way because of our life together. Today I am thankful.

I have thought a lot about these three pictures today. His groom's cake. A cake that he could have had any design yet chose the scripture that had meant so much to him and the scripture that would become our family verse and read at our children's baby dedication as well. The picture of all of our friends and family surrounding us on such a beautiful day. And a picture of one of our anniversaries. Through the years our circumstances always changed. Sometimes we didn't have much time, other times we didn't have any money, other times we didn't have help, then we had children...but no matter how much Charles worked, how sick he may have been, how crazy life was, he always, always took time for our marriage, made everything special and made us a priority. We couldn't go anywhere that year so we had our meal in front of the fireplace and watched our wedding video.

Thankful for memories. Thankful for Charles. Thankful for the Lord allowing me such an incredible blessing. Thankful for the children we share and the life I now live because of them. Thankful for parents who help me celebrate. Thankful for the promise of heaven. Happy Anniversary Charles. Though I wish we had had many more years together, every ounce of grief has been worth it to have been loved by you. I love you forever.

07/15/2019

Today, as I looked out from the stage while singing on the praise team, I had a rare moment where I could almost see Charles out in the audience watching me like he once did. I nearly became a puddle on the stage right there. But as I struggled to get myself together while keeping up with the words in almost the same moment - the prayer quickly left my heart and mind before I even knew I was praying it, “But I am thankful he is with You, Jesus.”

There is no way to describe the peace that surpasses all understanding in the depths of grief knowing that he is with Jesus. He didn’t die into nothingness, he didn’t die and has now been reincarnated into another life here as something else. He didn’t die and gain angel wings and fly high in the sky. He didn’t even die and become my guardian angel who watches over me.

He died and is now in the presence of the Lord. His faith has become sight. His eternity has begun. And there is no greater peace than knowing that comfort.

Love you, Charles!

07/02/2019

Some days I still wonder if the hurt and the pain will ever get better and then I come across things like this. I wrote this nearly two years ago (which by the way is hard to fathom it has been that long). Though the words don't even begin to describe what I know I felt at that moment - today it has truly been a reminder of how far the Lord really has brought me.

"The Ugliness of Grief

I never expected it to be this hard.

I didn't expect to lose my life in the process.

I don’t know if things have gotten worse or if I am just actually experiencing it instead of being in a coma.

The darkness and black hole just seems as though it keeps getting darker.

I never expected it to be this hard.

I mean this is hard. This is really hard.

I walk around fine. I carry on conversations fine. I am even teaching bible study fine. But in my mind and my heart, it's not fine.

I don't know if I will ever be fine again.

I'm already getting worked up about the holidays and my birthday.

Why?

Nothing seems to matter anymore.

Nothing has any joy anymore outside of my kids.

I don't enjoy doing what I once loved anymore.

I am so broken.

I feel like I am broken in a million pieces on the floor.

I don't know how to put them back together.

I just want Charles back.

I just want this to be a bad dream.

I want to wake up.

I don't want to move forward.

God save me.

Rebuild my life.

Make me new."

No matter what journey you are on or the struggles you face, the grief you are walking through, whatever has left you broken, I encourage you to remember where you once were so you can see how far the Lord has brought you! He is a faithful God.

David wrote Psalm 51 in his own time of brokenness. His brokenness of sin. But God did restore him and if you cry out to Him, he will restore you as well.

05/04/2019

Thinking about skipping church tomorrow? Maybe you have never been or maybe you just don’t “feel” like going to church.

In all the crazy chaos of life, Charles would get up at 4:30 on Sunday mornings to start his morning routine to be able to get in the car by 8:30 to be in life group by 9:30. The sacrifice was great - many days we were exhausted and I would even have to pull over on our way home to take a quick nap to make it home the rest of the way but making it a priority no matter the “sacrifice” was always worth it. Being with the body of Christ on Sundays - nothing can replace the encouragement that you receive especially when you are going through the Fire.

God has given us an incredible gift when He gave us the church. Go to church and be encouraged and encourage others as we spur each other on in this life. This life that is filled with so many challenges, trials and difficulties. We need each other!