06/23/2026
************* "DOES MATURITY MITIGATE DOUBT?" *************
“Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant
of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always
wrestling in prayer for you, that you may
stand firm in all the will of God, mature and
fully assured.” – Colossians 4:12[NIV]
Here is a testimony by Paul of another brother’s earnest prayer for the Christians in the Colossian church. Epaphras is described as continually “wrestling” ἀγωνιζόμενος [agonizomenos] (from which we derive our familiar English "agonize") in prayer for them. The word he used signified intense exertion and was used often in an athletic context. Would that I and other brothers and sisters had more friends like Epaphras praying for us!
I’m struck by the content of Epaphras’ prayer as it is summarized by Paul. There seems to be a presumption implicit in the prayer that the more “mature” a believer is the more “fully assured” they are in their regeneration.
This begs the question: “Can a mature believer ever doubt their regeneration and union with Christ?” This is no mere academic question. Indeed, it is intensely practical for the “mature” believer to entertain. As an elder, I cannot sidestep this question. There have been many answers given throughout church history. John Calvin wrote:
In short, no man is truly a believer unless he be firmly persuaded
that God is a propitious and benevolent Father to him, and
promise himself everything from his goodness; unless he depend
on the promises of the Divine benevolence to him and feel an
undoubted expectation of salvation; as the apostle shows in these
words: "If we hold fast the beginning of our confidence steadfast
unto the end.” (Heb. 3:14)
More recently John MacArthur is quoted as saying that assurance of salvation is “the birthright and privilege of every true believer in Christ.” Taken at face value, it appears that doubt is evidence of lostness on the part of the doubter in the minds of these two gifted teachers of Your word O God.
The theologian/biblical exegete in me confesses that these men seem to represent accurately the apparent teaching of Scriptures such as Romans 8:16 and 1 John 5:13. Yet, their teaching – particularly Calvin’s seems a bit austere. Man is more than a logistician. Indeed, we are emotional beings subject to diverse feelings. Some are more guided by feelings and emotion. Others more guided by reason or logic. I am reminded of an illustration of the interrelationship between faith, feelings and facts that I learned long ago. It read:
Three men were walking on a wall, Feeling, Faith and Fact, when
Feeling got an awful fall, and Faith was taken back. So close was
Faith to Feeling, that he stumbled and fell too. But Fact remained,
and pulled Faith back, and Faith brought feeling too.
Does that accurately convey the truth regarding the relationship between doubt and the maturing believer? The mind is terribly complex and often inconsistent. When I come to a passage like Matthew 7, it forces me to self-examination and can even cause fear and trembling. It reads:
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the
kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is
in heaven will enter. “Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord,
did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast
out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ “And
then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me,
you who practice lawlessness.’” - Matthew 7:21-23
Some based on their belief that one can lose their salvation obviously believe that one cannot be sure without a doubt of their salvation. I find such a view contradicted by Jesus statements in John 6:37 and 10:28 as well as Paul’s words in Romans 8:38-39. The question here is not about doubt rooted in a belief of a lack of eternal security. The question involves whether a mature believer in Christ can go through a crisis of belief and doubt their salvation.
Existentially, I cannot dismiss the fear or doubt caused by meditating upon the passage above – at least, not without being dishonest with myself. Honesty with one’s self is essential and dishonesty with one’s self is tragic and has eternally damning consequences. I’m reminded of something Kierkegaard said:
“There are many people who reach their conclusions about life
like schoolboys: they cheat their master by copying the answer
out of a book without having worked the sum out for
themselves.”
I must work this out for myself!
The trouble is, the mind can delude itself so easily. Kierkegaard penned words years ago that made an indelible impression upon my mind:
"In every man there is something which to a certain degree
prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself; and
this may be the case in so high a degree, he may be so
inexplicably woven into relationships of life which extend far
beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself."
I suspect that those about whom Jesus described as asking: “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?” had reached a point in their experience before death that they couldn’t be honest with themselves and therefore could not be honest with God.
The shock and horror many will experience sends chills up my spine. Is it wrong for me to entertain the thought that such could happen to me? Or is it just an honest interaction with the text by this sinning believer? Could Your purpose for me, O God, in reading this passage be for me to follow the Scriptural command to
“Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves!
Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is
in you - unless indeed you fail the test?” (2 Corinthians 13:5)
Dare I jump in the “pool of doubt” and test myself? Perhaps the better question that You are impressing upon my Spirit is: “Dare I not?”
From the doubting disciple Thomas’ biblical testimony I think the case can be made that doubt can either lead to defeat or greater faith. Alfred Tennyson wrote: “There lives more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the creeds.” There seems to be some truth to the statement that “the closer one is to God, the farther away he realizes that he is from God yet the closer one thinks they are to God, the farther away from God he is.”
If a person is growing closer to God (i.e. maturing) that person will inevitably be convicted of how sinful they are before a holy God. Paul called himself the “chief of sinners.” (1 Timothy 1:15)
Experientially, I have found that doubt can be the result of unconfessed sin in my life and an increased awareness of my sinfulness. Every time I doubt I must throw myself at the feet of Christ and confess my doubt. Triumphalistic brethren are likely to see that as a weakness in my faith and point to such passages as Romans 8:16 which teaches that assurance of salvation is part of the ministry of the Holy Spirit. It reads: “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God…” Their view is that assurance is not only possible but should be the normal experience for any Christian. After all, 1 John 5:13 reads: “I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life.”
How many truimphalistic church members – even pastors will look down upon those struggling with doubt and die in their presumption because they failed to be honest with themselves? Kierkegaard’s words seem so appropriate: “The self-assured believer is a greater sinner in the eyes of God than the troubled disbeliever” Though I’m not an unbeliever, I often cry out with the dad in Mark 9:24: "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
PRAYER: Heavenly Father, this sinner finds himself in a pool of consisting of introspection, self-examination, and presumption. All of these thoughts and emotions seem to mix in this believer’s mind. I choose to major on the first two and leave the final judgment to You. I have an appointment with You that I will keep. There will come a midnight hour when this earthly life is done. When I stand before You, will this sinner pass the test of righteousness required to be accepted by You? No way! Not even close. So I will hold on to Jesus for dear life! He is perfect. He is able to keep that which I’ve committed unto Him against that day. He and He alone is my hope! Let my life and ministry on this earth not be in vain! Sanctify me and overcome my reluctance sometimes to keep You enthroned. Guard me from dishonesty with myself. Guard me from legalism or a fleshly presumption resulting in Your dethronement from the throne my life. Help me to be compassionate with others who struggle with doubt. Help me lead them to You as the anchor of their souls. It is in Jesus’ name that I make this prayer. Amen!
