05/28/2026
SUMMER TIME!!! What a wonderful time of year. Swimming pools, picnics, baseball, family get-togethers, vacations, fourth of July.....wow!! Let's celebrate! Right?
Not so fast my friend.
For too many people, when families get together it becomes a great opportunity for fireworks of the emotional kind. For these folks, family togetherness means conflict...AGAIN! But...how does this happen?
For these folks, there is always someone(s) in the family circle that seems to thrive on "stirring the pot." Or sometimes, they have an invisible "chip" on their shoulder just waiting to be knocked off. If you dig deeply enough, you find out that they are usually at the root of these recurring drama-filled family functions. They talk, they whisper, they phone, they text, and when they do they pass on "tidbits" of what another family member said or did (or didn't say or do) that is sure to "fan the flames" of conflict. They whisper in the corner. They gossip on the phone. They talk to someone whom they are sure will listen and pass it on. Why?? For some reason (unknown to mortal man) they are uncomfortable with peacefulness and only feel energized in conflict. Maby it's pain they've gone through. Maby it's their personality. Who knows?
Sooooo... what to do about it???
If you get angry and "tell them off" it only feeds their appetite. If you tell someone else about it...it only keeps it going. No....the only thing to do (besides pray) is IGNORE IT! If you neither repeat it or react to it they get no pleasure from it. Will it fix them? Probably not, but it WILL cause them to find someone else to talk to...which takes you out of the loop.
By the way, this dysfunctional behavior can happen in families, churches, business offices, sports teams.... anywhere there are humans. If it happens to you... call me. God has the answers and
we'll find them.
Dr. Steve Hodges, Biblical Counselor for the Chilhowee Baptist
Association, and pastor of Hillcrest Baptist Church.
