She Poured Out

05/13/2024

Yesterday was hard as it was the first Mother's Day without my mama. Our family gathered for a picnic. The kids played, we ate good food and had better conversations. I thank the Lord for bringing us joy despite our sorrow. When I saw this quote this morning I knew it was perfect. It's easy to be miserable in the dark. If I'm honest, I just wanted to hide under my blankets yesterday and cry. But, I would have missed the party. I would have missed out on the memories. Yesterday, I chose to live in the light. And I owe all the praise and glory to Him for giving me the strength to carry on.

05/05/2024

Around 3 am this morning my bedroom door creaked open. I knew immediately it was my youngest child. The thunder was booming, the lighting cracked. Trembling, she crawled into my bed and nestled in as close to me as she could. "I'm scared, Mama." All I could do was reassure her that she was safe. That I was right there. That the storm couldn't hurt her. Protect, calm, reassure, that's what moms do.

How many times have I cried out to my Father? "Lord, I'm scared." In the middle of the raging storm, with thunder roaring and lighting all around. Heartaches, worries, fears, weighing me down, pulling me under, just ready to let go and drown. But, then He nestles in close, reassures, and protects. Often he does not command the storm to stop. But rather, calms me within the storm.

My daughter reminded me that when I am scared I have a Father whose grace is ever sufficient, no matter the weather.

05/02/2024

04/29/2024

While waiting at the bus stop this morning with my youngest (age 10), we were discussing the upcoming school check-in test. L has terrible test anxiety. I started my spiel of "just do your best..." then she stopped me, saying "yeah, yeah, I know. But, I don't want to do it mama. I hate it."

I thought for a moment, searching my mama wisdom for something to say. My mind went to Jochebed and how even though she didn't want to do it, she sent Moses down the river. I told L that is what women do. To take a look at the women of the Bible. Mary and Martha who had prepared spices for the tomb of Jesus. Do you think they "wanted" to do it? No, they would rather have Jesus to be alive. But, that's what women do. Just like Jochebed who certainly did not want to send her baby down the river, but had to trust that she was doing the right thing.

Women carry on, they pour out. Life is full of "I don't want to." No matter the situation, God meets us women with the grace to carry on. Grace for every need, every hardship, for every I don't want to.

04/22/2024

I had a rough night. Once the kids and husband went to bed the house went quiet. And in the quiet my mind went to my mama. I sobbed, praying that my heavenly Father would hold me. As I was coming down the bypass this morning this song came on the radio and it was God speaking to me. Hold on. It's a new day and I'm hanging on by a thread. But, it's the thread of His garment. So I know I'm going to be okay.

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04/19/2024

What battle are you facing?

It seems that this entire year has been a battle for me and my family. We put one fire out and another began. I am worn and battered. But, I'm still standing. Some prayers only came out as tears. Some were said in the quiet of my secret place. Some were just a whisper. On an altar I poured my heart out. And he heard. He answered.

Jeremiah 29:12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

How can I pray for you today? It would be an honor to seek the Father on your behalf.

04/18/2024

My mama passed away in January. As I was scrolling Amazon I came across this bracelet. In Morse code it reads "See you in heaven." I bought my sister and me one and we haven't taken them off since. It's a daily reminder that our last goodbye here on earth was her welcome to eternity in a better place.

Loss and grief is hard. It's ugly. It's painful. But, it's not goodbye forever. It is see you later. All because of a Savior who died and rose again, we have the hope of reunion and hope for endless time with our loved ones. As the old song says "Oh what a day that will be..."

04/17/2024

This morning as my youngest daughter was running to the bus she dropped her money for her field trip. The money she insisted that she could carry in her hand and not lose. As she ran back to pick it up I thought "That child is going to be the death of me." She is stubborn, independent, sassy, and, emotional. But, I love her with every fiber in my being.

Then the Spirit of God spoke to me and said "You were literally the death of me." I like things to be done my way (like mother, like daughter). I often think that I've got this. And, when things don't go my way I get sassy and emotional. How many times have I messed up? Plenty I assure you. But, every single time God has met me with mercy, grace, and forgiveness. As much love as I have for my child, his love is even greater for me! My stubbornness, independent ways, my sins, weighed upon his shoulders on the cross. And yet, he did so willingly.

Romans 5:8 KJV - But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

My daughter and her money served as a reminder this morning. We are children of God. Sometimes we drop the proverbial ball. But when we do, his love is always there to pick us up.