04/04/2023
Week 2:
The Test
I don’t recall precisely what tests she ran, but that’s not too important now. All the tests came back normal except the quad screening. This test can help with the early detection of congenital disabilities. I remember the day I knew something was wrong because my doctor called me and needed me to come on that day to talk with her about the test results; they ran just a few days prior. My mom accompanied me to my appointment as I didn’t want to be alone when I got the results. I remember having butterflies in my stomach as I walked into the busy clinic filled with people moving around like ants gathering food to store for the winter. The lights were beaming down on me like spotlights, as if I were on stage. My heart was pounding out of my chest as my mind was racing. All I could think about was what they found and how bad it was. My mom and I sat in awkward silence while waiting for my name to be called.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, my name was announced by a young woman who was a little older than me. As we engaged in the usual small talk, I noted a different tone in her voice than with previous appointments. She spoke concerned yet caringly as we were guided to the examination room to wait for the doctor. We reviewed the usual health-related questions, but the non-verbal communication differed from a few days before. I felt as if she was withholding a secret from me.
On the other hand, I felt as if the look in her eyes was saying it would be ok. She completed the necessary health assessment and asked us to wait in the room for the doctor. Once again, we waited for what seemed like an eternity. Then, a light knock on the door interrupted the light-hearted conversation with my mom. As my doctor entered the room, my stomach started to turn. I could no longer put away the anxiety and fear that I had been trying to deny for the past couple of hours. She opened by saying hello with a reassuring smile. Dr. Erica then explained that while most tests returned normal, the quad screen returned abnormal. She explained that the results we received usually indicate the possibility of spina bifida. Then she went on to say that the test is not 100 percent reliable. Finally, Dr. Erica explained that even if the baby doesn’t have spina bifida, there is a high possibility of other issues. For that reason, she wanted me to go and get a level two ultrasound at a larger hospital and meet with a specialist called Perinatologist. While the news we received wasn’t the worst, it didn’t prepare us for the information we would receive just a few weeks later.
