03/16/2024
What in the world is wrong with me. I can’t shake this feeling. I believe in God. I worship God. I pray to God. I give God all the honor and glory. I am working trying to launch my Godly ministry. But despite all that, I still feel lost, confused, abandon, hopeless, heartbroken, disappointed, downcast , upset, unworthy, frustrated, betrayed, bewildered, alone, empty, unfulfilled, and disillusioned. But despite all that, I still believe wholeheartedly, unquestionably, undoubtedly, totally, emphatically in The Most High God. He is Father God, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, The Creatior and the Ruler of our faith. I still have that faith that he is always with me, will never leave me nor forsake me, won’t let me fall. How can I feel the two opposite ways. Why don’t I feel that overwhelming joy filling me up inside and running over? I want to run and tell the world of his grace, mercy and love but how do I do that while I still feel so bad inside. I guess I just have to keep in praying, see the bright side of it all. Pray that he will lift me up when I bfeeling down. The 23rd psalm comes immediately to my mind. It says :
23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul; He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
Amen.
This is what lifts me up when I am down. This is what gives me the courage to go on. This is what feels my heart with gladness and comforts me. This is what renews my strength ang gives me hope. This is what gives me the courage to continue my fight. All I need do is raise my eyes to the sky and say “Thank you Lord for saving me, Thank you lord for waking me up this morning, Thank you Lord for breathing breath into my body, Thank you Jesus for letting me see another day, Thank you Lord for keeping me, my mother, my sister, my nieces and nephew and all of my friends and acquaintances safe from “all” hurt, harm and danger. Thank you Jesus for not letting any thieves break in nor fires break out, Thank you Jesus for giving me a sweet sleep last night, Thank you for waking me up clothed in my right mind, Thank you Lord for blessing me with food to eat and clothes to wear, Thank you Jesus for blessing my mother with the money to be able to go to the store, talking her safely there and bringing her safely back, allowing her to bring it all into the house, put it away then go about preparing it so lovingly for us. And I want to say a special Thank you Lord for allowing my mother to continually show her love for me. She may fuss sometimes but I know that it all comes from her deep love for me and wanting to keep me from making mistakes and wasting thi wonderful gift that you have given to me and I truly thank her for that and I ask that you help me to help her and help her to.bear the weight that I place on her daily. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer. This one comes straight from my heart and I pray that you will grant it for me. Please let my mom know that no matter what and no matter what difficulties I cause her to face, I love her so much and I can’t even begin to show her how much. All these things I pray in the Holy and Mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen and Hallelujah!