02/08/2026
One Sunday, I broke down in tears at a prayer meeting at church and asked what I could do to restore my adult son to me. He had made some chilling decisions, and I was powerless to change him.
A dear, older woman hurried across the room, sat down beside me, and slipped her arm around my shoulder. “Your parenting in the flesh is over,” she said softly. “It’s time to parent him in the Spirit. Pray for your son and trust God to do what you cannot do — and He will,” she added confidently as she advised me how to parent my grown children.
1. Recognize and respect your differences. See your children as people, individuals apart from your expectations. Look for the person God sees in your child.
2. Share wisdom and insight, not criticism. Our kids want to know who we really are - faults, failures, and all. Listen to all they have to share with eagerness and curiosity.
3. Relinquish your adult child to the Lord. If we do the vital inner work necessary to spiritual and emotional parenting, then relinquishing our children will be easier than we might expect. We will no longer feel compelled to use them as a means of working through the unfinished business of our past or as the focus of our future desires.
Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time for every purpose under heaven. Consider your own situation. Is the Lord telling you that now is the time for you to take steps to restore your relationship with your adult children? If so, incline your ears to the words of His mouth (Psalm 78:1). Admit your imperfections and commit them to a perfect God — who will guide, guard, and govern your sons and daughters in ways you could never carry out on your own. Then put into action the truths the Lord reveals.
