08/31/2026
This Member Monday, we’re excited to spotlight the Bender Family - Craig, Melissa, Ariella, and Isabella!
Hi! For those who don't know us, we are the Bender family! My wife and I grew up in Reform Jewish households on opposite sides of the country (Craig in NY and Melissa here in Los Angeles). We raised our children very culturally Jewish, but hadn't returned to regularly joining a synagogue until it was time for our 9-year-old to start religious school and Bat Mitzvah pre-training. We tried a lot of places, and everything felt too religious, or not religious enough, or just not us.
With TBH it was just right, and we found our home. It was right after things had opened up post-Covid when a friend suggested we try TBH. We went to a themed Shabbat in the yard and it was love at first night! It was a Beatles-themed Shabbat. Everyone was wearing tie-dye, the kids were drawing with chalk on the parking lot and tie-dyeing challah covers. Every prayer was played with a band to the tune of a Beatles song, which as a musician was music to my ears and such a fun, fresh take on a service. The thing that struck me the most, though, was the clergy — two female rabbis, plus Leah and other leaders. My wife and I grew up only with male rabbis and cantors, so seeing female leaders felt like the perfect role models for our two young girls.
After that, we dressed up for a Disney-themed Shabbat, and while I was singing all the songs loudly, I got recruited by the rabbi to join the choir. I have performed in the High Holiday and Shabbat adult chorus ever since as well as participated in the Purim Shpiel living my dream of playing Aladdin. We love all the festive Shabbats! I love that you can be as involved or uninvolved as you want to be. We have participated in book clubs, hiking clubs, volunteer work, and Seder in the Mountains, where my younger daughter Isabella got in on the singing action — which has now become an annual tradition. Oh, and that 9-year-old can now be found as a CIT at Camp Wonder or as a religious school Ozeret (class helper). As for me, I'll see you singing out from the bimah this High Holiday season, or at another Shabbat soon!