The Church of Lummis

05/02/2023

In a windy and spookiest night of dream, He said unto (dunto) me, "rest, my supple child" and an amend of it! equals Repent vis-à-vis donation of lum.

- A-ha by take me on is the "big" secret of Trevor ;) P.S.

03/09/2023

"Lo! Hereto the vivacious teachings on Lum. We as [redacted] will pave a road to gravity. Lo! Lummis is as Lummis does. Exalt!"

- Stingfish Calibration and Filtration Unit 3000, 3:89

01/26/2023

He boons when I hear a faint whisper in a gloomy of dark is night. "Pray tell, of your lums, to donate now, NOW!" Tell him what you think of the church, then only you and he will process order.

- Trevor Y'Tyl

01/26/2023

he

01/26/2023

05/17/2022

We will soon be blessed with the year of the Lummis.

02/06/2022

Let us give thanks, or forever hold your piece

02/06/2022

From the first of splote, he did. Or, if he did, Remarkable and unintentional Chorillo? I guess these are questions we all ask ourselves, but never have an answer.

And as a quote and many times again resented words of Hangrin from Harry Podt

Bart

“He is partial to the”

Thanks, and it
Trev
Trevor

You’ll know for certain when you see it for yourself ;)

01/02/2022

The time has come to choose. One is a true prophet of Lum, the other a BLASPHEMOUS IMPOSTER. Choose correctly, or forever bear the punishment of thine silt.

1. C. Bacael - forged a document claiming that my previous neighbor, Dwayne, attended an AA meeting when he really didn't.

2. B. Cable - pop singer and known "vaper" who teased one of my best friends for being too short.

The choice is yours, but choose wisely, as the incorrect choice will become thine penance.

"I wish I had chosen the other one" - Redacted Lummite.

01/01/2022

As we roll out of 2021 and into 2022, we'd like to leave you with a message of peace, love, and a little bit of a request. Let's make this year the greatest Lum has ever seen. Our church membership will skyrocket. This is the year. We will have obedience, and we will collect lums. You are required to donate. Please forward any questions to Axel Kredit.

Meditate on today's verse, Albiticus 1:1 - "We begin again, not for our families. NOT for ourselves. NOT for our children. NOT for our passion, or our friends. NOT for love. All exists to praise him."

Thank you, and let us begin again.

05/31/2021

Monday inspiration for you on this Memorial Day: There's nothing too far removed, no squalor too great for Lummis to redeem. Lummis makes ALL THINGS GREG!

When you're ready to say 'yes' to Lummis, please be sure to provide your Lumbase login credentials for levity's sake. We... He's running dangerously low on Lums. Our staff will be happy to walk you through the process! For further information, please speak with Grady Fillenseadt (seen below).

👏 ALL 👏 THINGS 👏 GREG 👏

05/13/2021

"It's is all about "Him" in the eyes of Lubbis."

Don't you dare try to again, or they will be reporting you to the higher ups. You know exactly what you did wrong, and you know the consequences. Laugh all you want.

- Trevor "Ibichus Unum" Golone